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Differences between countries are becoming less evident nowadays. People tend to have the same films, music, bands, TV channels, etc. To what extent do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages? v.2

Differences between countries are becoming less evident nowadays. People tend to have the same films, music, bands, TV channels, etc. v. 2
Nowadays, many hold the view that the similar entertainment among different countries has many advantages. However, there is a body of opinion which claims that this trend is negative. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the debate and give my own opinion. To begin with, it is undeniable that the same recreation would enlarge social network. On the average, this uniform lifestyle can provide participants with numerous common topics, which will increase the possibility that some of them communicate with each other frequently when they happen to stay together, such as traveling to another country. Furthermore, the same way people entertain could promote cooperation. To be specific, similar entertaining activities may help people from different nations form the same thinking pattern, which can allow workers in cross-border companies to understand one another easily when they engage in group tasks. On the other hand, nonetheless, same entertaining ways would also impair cultural identity. When people are taking part in the same leisure activities, local entertainment characteristics will disappear soon or later, which may cause a situation where native residents can hardly feel accepted and respected. That is why countries all over the world are trying their best to protect their own recreational culture from vanishing by emphasizing its importance in mass media. To summarise, there is no doubt that same lifestyle owned by people from different countries would improve social network and promote cooperation. At the same time, nevertheless, sharing a same living way could damage countries’ cultural identity. In the final analyse, therefore, one can only conclude that the advantages of participating in the similar leisure activities outweigh the disadvantages.
Nowadays,
many hold
the view that the similar entertainment among
different
countries
has
many
advantages.
However
, there is a body of opinion which claims that this trend is
negative
. In this essay, I will examine both sides of the debate and give my
own
opinion.

To
begin
with, it is undeniable that the same recreation would enlarge social network. On the average, this uniform lifestyle can provide participants with numerous common topics, which will increase the possibility that
some
of them communicate with each other
frequently
when they happen to stay together, such as traveling to another
country
.
Furthermore
, the same way
people
entertain could promote cooperation. To be specific, similar entertaining activities may
help
people
from
different
nations form the same thinking pattern, which can
allow
workers in cross-border
companies
to understand one another
easily
when they engage in group tasks.

On the other hand
, nonetheless, same entertaining ways would
also
impair cultural identity. When
people
are taking part in the same leisure activities, local entertainment characteristics will disappear
soon
or later, which may cause a situation where native residents can hardly feel
accepted
and respected.
That is
why
countries
all over the world are trying their best to protect their
own
recreational culture from vanishing by emphasizing its importance in mass media.

To
summarise
, there is no doubt that same lifestyle
owned
by
people
from
different
countries
would
improve
social network and promote cooperation. At the same time,
nevertheless
, sharing a same living way could damage
countries’
cultural identity. In the final
analyse
,
therefore
, one can
only
conclude that the advantages of participating in the similar leisure activities outweigh the disadvantages.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Differences between countries are becoming less evident nowadays. People tend to have the same films, music, bands, TV channels, etc. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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