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More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v.2

More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 2
It is a fact that a great number of visitors are more inclined to travel abroad than before. There are some primary factors which account for this trend, and I consider it to be a largely positive development. There are two fundamental reasons why more people now travel to foreign nations. Firstly, the average salary of people is now higher than in the past, which means that they could easily buy round-trip tickets and book accommodations in advance. For example, a package trip from Vietnam to Thailand may cost only 200 dollars, which is affordable for middle-income citizens and even the young. Secondly, thanks to technological advancements, geographical distance is no longer a problem. People can travel to places hundreds of miles away with just a few hours of flying. Also, traveling by planes may bring an enjoyable experience to passengers during the flight thanks to airplane amenities. I believe that the growth of global tourism could bring favorable impacts to both local areas and holidaymakers. The more tourists pay visits to local destinations, the more tourism-related services in these areas might be expanded. Therefore, locals can seize several decent job opportunities such as opening a hotel or working as tour guides. As a result, this will significantly contribute to the prosperity of their local area. Additionally, holidaymakers could have the chance to broaden their understanding of the place they set foot in through a multitude of tourism activities. To signify, They can visit historical constructions, try loads of delectable cuisines or learn indigenous practices. In conclusion, the tendency for citizens to visit tourist destinations in other countries comes from the affordability of travel tickets and the advancement in aviation technology. And, I firmly believe that this trend may be beneficial to both local people and the tourists.
It is a fact that a great number of visitors are more inclined to
travel
abroad than
before
. There are
some
primary factors which account for this trend, and I consider it to be a
largely
positive
development.

There are two fundamental reasons why more
people
now
travel
to foreign nations.
Firstly
, the average salary of
people
is
now
higher than in the past, which means that they could
easily
buy
round-trip tickets and book accommodations in advance.
For example
, a package trip from Vietnam to Thailand may cost
only
200 dollars, which is affordable for middle-income citizens and even the young.
Secondly
, thanks to technological advancements, geographical distance is no longer a problem.
People
can
travel
to
places
hundreds of miles away with
just
a few hours of flying.
Also
, traveling by
planes
may bring an enjoyable experience to passengers during the flight thanks to airplane amenities.

I believe that the growth of global tourism could bring favorable impacts to both
local
areas and holidaymakers. The more tourists pay visits to
local
destinations, the more tourism-related services in these areas might
be expanded
.
Therefore
,
locals
can seize several decent job opportunities such as opening a hotel or working as tour guides.
As a result
, this will
significantly
contribute to the prosperity of their
local
area.
Additionally
, holidaymakers could have the chance to broaden their understanding of the place they set foot in through a multitude of tourism activities. To signify, They can visit historical constructions, try loads of delectable cuisines or learn indigenous practices.

In conclusion
, the tendency for citizens to visit tourist destinations in other countries
comes
from the affordability of
travel
tickets and the advancement in aviation technology. And, I
firmly
believe that this trend may be beneficial to both
local
people
and the tourists.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay More people than ever before are traveling to other countries now. Why? Is this a positive development or negative development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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