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Today people are traveling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveler? v.1

Today people are traveling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveler? v. 1
In this ages, society tend to do more travelling considered the past time. Now, this activities have been the famous daily need for the certain people. Remembering that activities has many benefits. First of all, people do more travelling than ever before, especially for this era because the vehicles which supported this activities. Be more specifics, remembering than in the past, society who did travelling by just one kind of vehicles such a ship and of course it will consumes a lot of time for that. But today, there is so plenty of sort vehicles that can make easier to do travelling. Taking the plane for example, this vehicles was supported by rocket engine which can go through to somewhere just a few of minutes and the prices is adorable. So, the travelling will not felt boring. As a result, many people do more travelling just purchase the ticket with reasonable price and they can go anywhere what they want. However, travelling has benefits for inhabitants who did it. According to some people who ever did the travelling, that the travelling can make be more independent. The main reason for this is because when people going to somewhere, they must manage and operate their self and financial professionally. For example, when they want to have kind of food, they must choose which one the cheaper, if not it can make their financial broke directly. Another reason, when they want to stay for a several days, they should looking for the comfortable and reasonable place to take a rest. As a result, they can be more independent because they already know how to self-manage from travelling. To conclude, people do more travelling in this era is because the easy of life such many vehicles can used, and the travelling has a many benefits and can make our brain fresh.
In
Did you mean "these"?
this
ages, society tend to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
considered the
Did you mean "pastime"?
past time
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities have been the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
daily need for the certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Remembering that activities has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
especially
for this era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
which supported
Did you mean "these"?
this
activities. Be more specifics, remembering than in the past, society who did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
such a ship and
of course
it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "consume"
consumes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time for that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of sort
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
easier to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
. Taking the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
for example
,
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
was supported
by rocket engine which can go through to somewhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few of minutes and the prices is adorable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
will not
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
felt
boring.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the ticket with reasonable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
price and
they can go anywhere what they want.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has benefits for inhabitants who did it. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who ever did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
be more independent. The main reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
There isn't usually a preposition before "somewhere". Did you mean "going somewhere"?
going to somewhere
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
manage and operate their self and financial
professionally
.
For example
, when they want to have kind of food, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose which one the cheaper, if not it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their financial broke
directly
. Another reason, when they want to stay for a several
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "day"?
days
, they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "look"
looking
for the comfortable and reasonable place to take a rest.
As a result
, they can be more independent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already know how to self-manage from travelling.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in this era is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the easy of life such
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our brain fresh.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Mistakes

IELTS essay Today people are traveling more than ever before. Why is this the case? What are the benefits of traveling for the traveler? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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