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Today people are traveling more than ever before. What is the reason? Benefits of traveling? v.2

Today people are traveling more than ever before. What is the reason? Benefits of traveling? v. 2
An increasing number of people around the world are travelling these days as never seen before. This essay will first discuss its possible reason, which is the advent of commercial airlines, and I believe the primary benefit of travelling is to become relax and enjoy the new atmosphere, climate, and way of living. The most crucial reason that attracts people to travel is the introduction of multiple budget airlines. Many countries have introduced low-cost airlines since the recent past, who offered an affordable priced air ticket, which enabled people to travel wherever they like to, regardless of their income, like, Air Malaysian, a Malaysian airline and, West jet, a Canadian airline. As a result, tourism has increased tremendously worldwide. For example, a recent survey found that around 40% of people traveled to China from western countries after the start of the budget airlines worldwide. Concerning the question of the advantage of travelling, I think travel bring enjoyment to people's life. The trip allows people to take time off from work and relax by getting into a new environment and living. Travelling rejuvenates and eliminates the monotony boredom of the busy life of a competitive world. Therefore, millions of people visit the tourist resort each year. For instance, a recent study revealed that nearly 90 % of hill station resorts in India are priorly booked, and people are getting reservation dates after two years down the road. In conclusion, being travelling by budget airlines are getting popular day by day, and everyone can visit their dream destination within their tight schedule and budget, enjoy their vacation and become stress-free
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
these days as never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This essay will
first
discuss its possible reason, which is the advent of commercial airlines, and I believe the primary benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
is to become relax and enjoy the new atmosphere, climate, and way of living.

The most crucial reason that attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel is the introduction of multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
airlines.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries have introduced low-cost airlines since the recent past, who offered an affordable priced air ticket, which enabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel wherever they like to, regardless of their income, like, Air Malaysian, a Malaysian airline and, West jet, a Canadian airline.
As a result
, tourism has increased
tremendously
worldwide.
For example
, a recent survey found that around 40% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
traveled to China from western countries after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
airlines worldwide.

Concerning the question of the advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
travel bring enjoyment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life. The trip
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take time off from work and relax by getting into a new environment and living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
rejuvenates and eliminates the monotony boredom of the busy life of a competitive world.
Therefore
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit the tourist resort each year.
For instance
, a recent study revealed that
nearly
90 % of hill station resorts in India are
priorly
booked, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting reservation dates after two years down the road.

In conclusion
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
airlines are getting popular day by day, and everyone can visit their dream destination within their tight schedule and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
, enjoy their vacation and become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Today people are traveling more than ever before. What is the reason? Benefits of traveling? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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