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More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
We live in an age when many of us like to secure our future in countries which are more prosperous than ours, on the ground that these foreign lands offer satisfying job opportunities and prudent lifestyle. There are some positive and negative things about this trend, but in my opinion, it has more advantages than disadvantages and the following essay will discuss them both in details. To embark on, the fundamental to this migration involves the disappointment of earning class and struggle of job seekers living in their native country. These people, needless to say, look for opportunities which are suitable to them in more affluent countries. The people shifted to these countries have better earning sources and many other benefits which they may take advantage of. To illustrate, people in India are migrating to Canada as permanent residences and work there in hope that their children could have the chance to study in world-class universities. Moreover, working overseas will enrich and broaden the life experience of the employed class there. They have the chance to visit many significant and historical places in the new country, learn a new language, and make new friends. Despite all the positive things about working overseas, there are some negative things that people should notice. There is a chance of a culture shock for the newly shifted person, as there may be some traditions and customs that might not fit with them. For example, many western people might not be accustomed to the culture of the Japanese people who bow to greet other people. And then, there might be some difficulties for the workers in adapting the local foods. Many western people are not comfortable with the Asian foods due to most of them are using spices and chilli. In conclusion, it is true that numbers of people who are settling overseas are increasing these days to reap the benefits from the bright sides of rich countries, yet there are few negative aspects like dealing with a new culture and the environment to which person becomes adaptable with time.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an age when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us like to secure our future in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are more prosperous than ours, on the ground that these foreign lands offer satisfying job opportunities and prudent lifestyle. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things about this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, it has more advantages than disadvantages and the following essay will discuss them both in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To embark on, the fundamental to this migration involves the disappointment of earning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and struggle of job seekers living in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, needless to say, look for opportunities which are suitable to them in more affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
shifted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have better earning sources and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other benefits which they may take advantage of. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India are migrating to Canada as permanent residences and work there in hope that their children could have the chance to study in world-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
universities.
Moreover
, working overseas will enrich and broaden the life experience of the employed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
there. They have the chance to visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
significant and historical places in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
language, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends.

Despite all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
things about working overseas, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should notice. There is a chance of a culture shock for the
newly
shifted person, as there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditions and customs that might not fit with them.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not
be accustomed
to the culture of the Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who bow to greet other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. And then, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties for the workers in adapting the local foods.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not comfortable with the Asian foods due to most of them are using spices and
Possible spelling mistake. 'chilli' is British English.
chilli
.

In conclusion
, it is true that numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are settling overseas are increasing these days to reap the benefits from the bright sides of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
yet
there are few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects like dealing with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
culture and the environment to which person becomes adaptable with time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More people now work overseas. What are the reasons why people are doing so? Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? Provide specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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