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Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families v. 2
It is argued that the high speed and pressure of new living adversely affect families. I completely agree that the fast pace and stress of modern living is harming families. Firstly, I discuss the children who have busy parents easily commit crime rather than others and secondly, discuss how life pressure can break marriages. Parents spending less time on families can let their children easily fall into social evils. When a child needs help and guidance from their parents, they cannot get it right because they are always not available or away. That's the point for the bad guy to encourage the children to follow them and commit the crime. According to a recent report, the number percentage of young crime increased dramatically and an especially major proportion of them has parents who work far away or just at home for a moment. Divorce is a consequence of living stress. When someone is stressed, they are easily angry and act over than themselves. If one in a couple is high-pressure, the other once will be the human who has to endure and when they overload, their relationship breaks. For example, my friend used to be in this situation, after marriages, her husband is usually angry and develops a range of bad habits because of stress. She had to endure him for years and in the end, it is over, she cannot endure more, so she decided to end their marriage life. In conclusion, I totally agree that families are heavily influenced by the pressures and hustle of modern society.
It
is argued
that the high speed and pressure of new living
adversely
affect
families
. I completely
agree
that the
fast
pace and
stress
of modern living is harming
families
.
Firstly
, I discuss the children who have busy parents
easily
commit crime
rather
than others and
secondly
, discuss how life pressure can break marriages.

Parents spending less time on
families
can
let
their children
easily
fall into social evils. When a child needs
help
and guidance from their parents, they cannot
get
it right
because
they are always not available or away. That's the point for the
bad
guy to encourage the children to follow them and commit the crime. According to a recent report, the number percentage of young crime increased
dramatically
and an
especially
major proportion of them has parents who work far away or
just
at home for a moment.

Divorce is a consequence of living
stress
. When someone is
stressed
, they are
easily
angry and act
over
than themselves. If one in a couple is high-pressure, the other once will be the human who
has to
endure and when they overload, their relationship breaks.
For example
, my friend
used
to be in this situation, after marriages, her husband is
usually
angry and develops a range of
bad
habits
because
of
stress
. She had to endure him for years and in the
end
, it is over, she cannot endure more,
so
she decided to
end
their marriage life.

In conclusion
, I
totally
agree
that
families
are
heavily
influenced by the pressures and hustle of modern society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life is having a negative effect on families v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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