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More people have unhealthy diet and do not do enough exercises. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle? v.2

More people have unhealthy diet and do not do enough exercises. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle? v. 2
In this fast-paced life, living standard of the people has changed to great extent. Nowadays, individuals are not eating nutritional diet and also not doing any physical activity. This essay shall discuss the reasons behind this trend and several ways to control above mentioned practices. In this era, Men and Women are working shoulder to shoulder. They are very busy to earn money and do not get time to cook food at home. Instead, they rely on fast food which is easily available. As packed foods contain oil in good amount so it causes various health issues such as obesity, cardiac diseases etctera. It has been proved that around 70% of the working population in UK do not prepare food at home and eat street food. Also, to save time and efforts, individuals use their car even to go to the nearby market instead of going on foot. Besides that, people prefer to watch television in their leisure time rather than going outside to walk or to play games. Also, they used to snack while watching T. V. which is unfit for health. Moreover, most of the advertisements shown on television are related to new varieties of fast food available in market encouraging people to increase their intake. There are various solutions to this issue which should be performed strictly. Firstly, teachers should teach their students about the benefits of balanced diet and steps to cook it. Not only diet, schools should organise healthy sport competitions among learners to encourage them to take part in outdoor activities. Secondly, people should start preparing their meals at home which do not take much time, for example, fruit shakes, salad, soups and list goes on. Last but not the least, people should go to office if it is at walking distance or nearby market on foot and in office, they should use stairs not lifts. In conclusion, I would like to say that people should understand that their real wealth lies in a good health and take care of their health by having balanced diet and proper exercise. Also, government should impose restrictions on the advertisements which encourage people to have packed meals.
In this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life, living standard of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
to great extent. Nowadays, individuals are not eating nutritional diet and
also
not doing any physical activity. This essay shall discuss the reasons behind this trend and several ways to control above mentioned practices.

In this era,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
and Women are working shoulder to shoulder. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy to earn money and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home.
Instead
, they rely on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
easily
available. As packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
contain oil in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it causes various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues such as obesity, cardiac diseases
Possible spelling mistake found.
etctera
. It has
been proved
that around 70% of the working population in UK do not prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home and eat street
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
Also
, to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and efforts, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their car even to go to the nearby market
instead
of going on foot.

Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
rather
than going outside to walk or to play games.
Also
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to snack while watching T. V. which is unfit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, most of the advertisements shown on television
are related
to new varieties of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
available in market encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to increase their intake.

There are various solutions to this issue which should
be performed
strictly
.
Firstly
, teachers should teach their students about the benefits of balanced diet and steps to cook it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
diet, schools should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
healthy sport competitions among learners to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in outdoor activities.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
preparing their meals at home which do not take much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
for example
, fruit shakes, salad, soups and list goes on. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should go to office if it is at walking distance or nearby market on foot and in office, they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
stairs not lifts.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should understand that their real wealth lies in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
by having balanced diet and proper exercise.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose restrictions on the advertisements which encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have packed meals.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay More people have unhealthy diet and do not do enough exercises. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage people to have a healthier lifestyle? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
360 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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