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More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past Why Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v.2

More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past Why Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 2
Discussing when young parents should have babies in their life. Some people consider that spending at least a few years since they married before having babies. In my opinion, I think that having a child in their later age can bring more advantages, not for parents gain but also as youngsters compared to any demerits. Despite drawback, below, I believed that the benefits gained by having babies in their later age provide with more time to save the knowledge in term of taking care of their child. For example, some research said that nowadays, many young people have children but they don’t have any knowledge to take care of their children. This is often associated with a lack of experience as well as knowledge before having babies. By contrast, having a child late will give them more time to accumulate experience for themselves. Besides, they will have more time to save money as well as mental prepare which help they bring for their children life to become happier. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when women have a baby late. One problem is that it might impact their health as well as their reproduction health. More research considers that when women above 30 years old especially women who their health is not good leading to the reproduction ability will not stable. This will affect their baby healthy. In conclusion, young parents should be more time to prepare for their children rather than having a baby early. So that, having a child late have huge benefits compared to any demerits.
Discussing when young parents should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
in their life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that spending at least a few years since they married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in their later age can bring more advantages, not for parents gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
as youngsters compared to any demerits.

Despite drawback, below, I believed that the benefits gained by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
in their later age provide with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to save the knowledge in term of taking care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research said that nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they don’t have any knowledge to take care of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
associated with a lack of experience
as well
as knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
babies
. By contrast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
late will give them more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to accumulate experience for themselves.
Besides
, they will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to save money
as well
as mental prepare which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
they bring for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
life to become happier.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues involved when women have a baby late. One problem is that it might impact their health
as well
as their reproduction health. More research considers that when women above 30 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
especially
women who their health is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
leading to the reproduction ability will not stable. This will affect their baby healthy.

In conclusion
, young parents should be more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to prepare for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a baby early.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
late have huge benefits compared to any demerits.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past Why Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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