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TPO 45: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v.2

TPO 45: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2
I agree that, relative to their previous generation, young people today are better able to make their own decisions on important issues of life. The financial independence, availability of information, and well-informed parents can help young people to make their own decisions. Young people can become financially independent far sooner than their parents. In my country, young people used to live with their parents for a long time. They were dependent on their parents' financial support for living, sometimes even after getting married. As we know, with any kind of dependency there comes some sort of authority over the dependent. For example, because a young man was financially dependent on his father, he had to accept his father’s opinion on the subject that he was going to study at university. Otherwise, his father would have simply refuse to pay his tuition. Moreover, information about almost any topic is available for young people via the internet and television channels. At old days, although people had access to elementary education, and a few books, the main source of information was the knowledge of older people who had more experiences. That is why it was wise to listen to the advice of parents and close relatives. However, today with the developments of technology, internet, and media, you can usually find quite a lot of information about almost any subject. For example, if I have to decide for the topic that I am going to study at university, I can survey the internet for some information about the type of courses I have to take, the type of jobs that I would be able to apply after graduation, and the estimated salaries I can expect to get for each job. Finally, parents are more eager to let their children make their own decisions. Due to the reasons mentioned above, parents also understand that the situations have changed from when they were young. It is not a surprise to find parents taking guidance and advice from their young children about the new ways of doing their daily shopping or paper works using the new technologies. Every organization now has its own website, and on them, not only you can find comprehensive explanation of the rules and policies, but also good advice and shortcuts on how to make things easier and more beneficial. That is why parents can trust their young children to be more independent and make good decisions. Young people are more capable of making their own decisions, thanks to the developments in the economy of countries, availability of information, and more understanding parents.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, relative to their previous generation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are better able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues of life. The financial independence, availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, and well-informed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become
financially
independent far sooner than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. In my country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for a long time. They were dependent on their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; financial support for living,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
even after getting married. As we know, with any kind of dependency there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of authority over the dependent.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
was
financially
dependent on his father, he had to accept his father’s opinion on the subject that he was going to study at university.
Otherwise
, his father would have
simply
refuse to pay his tuition.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about almost any topic is available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
via the internet and television channels. At
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had access to elementary education, and a few books, the main source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
was the knowledge of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who had more experiences.
That is
why it was wise to listen to the advice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and close relatives.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with the developments of technology, internet, and media, you can
usually
find quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about almost any subject.
For example
, if I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide for the topic that I am going to study at university, I can survey the internet for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the type of courses I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take, the type of jobs that I would be able to apply after graduation, and the estimated salaries I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for each job.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions. Due to the reasons mentioned above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
also
understand that the situations have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
from when they were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
. It is not a surprise to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
taking guidance and advice from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
children about the new ways of doing their daily shopping or paper works using the new technologies. Every organization
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
website, and on them, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
you can find comprehensive explanation of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and policies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advice and shortcuts on how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
things easier and more beneficial.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can trust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
children to be more independent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decisions.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more capable of making their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions, thanks to the developments in the economy of countries, availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, and more understanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 45: In the past, young people depended too much on their parents to make decisions for them; today young people are better able to make decisions about their own lives. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
430 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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