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In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money to construct new railway lines for very fast movement between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money to construct new railway lines for very fast movement between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1
These days, people have taken keen interest in what area authorities channel huge funds to. Although certain individuals opine that it should be used to construct new railway transport system for trains, which moves with great speed in between cities, others belong to the school of thought that it ought to be expended on overhauling existing public means of transportation. This essay will discuss both viewpoints in order to arrive at a conclusion. On the one hand, it is reasoned that more revenue should be directed to building modern railway tracks because it is time saving. In other words, trains move with high level of speed, which shortens the time passengers spend on the road. Also, there are no stopovers in between its destinations but only at major stations. A case in point is a 2015 survey conducted by the ministry of of transport in China, which discovered that trains can travel over a long distance at very short time as compared to buses. Thus, supporters of this view have reason to claim that it should be given priority in terms of budget allocation by the government On the other hand, others are of the opinion that old public transport be refurbished because it will decongest traffic. This is due to the fact that, buses will be considered safe resulting in more private cars being taken off the road, for people would take preference to commuting in them. In addition, traffic bottleneck will decrease as roads are would be more accessible. America for instance, have been reported to experience an increased number of its citizens travelling by public transport as a result of its regular maintenance by the authorities. Hence, it is for this reason proponents of this view base their argument. To sum up, while some argue that huge amount of money be spent erecting railway lines because it saves time, others claim it should be used to refurbish public transport system that are in existence as it will take personal vehicles off the highway. I am of the opinion that none ought to be given preference over the other because they are both essential.
These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have taken keen interest in what area authorities channel huge funds to. Although certain individuals opine that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to construct new railway
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system for trains, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
with great speed in between cities, others belong to the school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it ought to
be expended
on overhauling existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
means of transportation. This essay will discuss both viewpoints in order to arrive at a conclusion.

On the one hand, it
is reasoned
that more revenue should
be directed
to building modern railway
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, trains
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with high level of speed, which shortens the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passengers spend on the road.
Also
, there are no stopovers in between its destinations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at major stations. A case in point is a 2015 survey conducted by the ministry
Possible typo: you repeated a word
of of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
in China, which discovered that trains can travel over a long distance at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as compared to buses.
Thus
, supporters of this view have reason to claim that it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
priority in terms of budget allocation by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government


On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others are of the opinion that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
be refurbished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will decongest traffic.
This is due to the fact that
, buses will
be considered
safe resulting in more private cars
being taken
off the road, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would take preference to commuting in them.
In addition
, traffic bottleneck will decrease as roads are would be more accessible. America
for instance
, have
been reported
to experience an increased number of its citizens travelling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
as a result
of its regular maintenance by the authorities.
Hence
, it is
for this reason
proponents of this view base their argument.

To sum up, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that huge amount of money
be spent
erecting railway lines
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, others claim it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to refurbish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
system that are in existence as it will take personal vehicles off the highway. I am of the opinion that none ought to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
preference over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are both essential.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay In a number of countries some people think it is necessary to spend large sum of money to construct new railway lines for very fast movement between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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