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More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good thing or bad thing? v.1

More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good thing or bad thing? v. 1
The trend of watching movies when people are free, is currently increasing these days. This essay will discuss why this change has occurred, including the booming development of movie making technologies and affordable prices. This essay will also explain why I believe the impact of this trend on our life can be positive. There are various compelling reasons why going to the theater in the spare time is gaining popularity nowadays and the prominent one is that the film industry is incredibly developing in recent years compared to the past as advancements in technology enables filmmakers to produce a wide range of movies to attract more people to watch them and satisfy their emotional needs. Additionally, the affordable prices of watching movies is also making meaningful contributions to this tendency. Take myself for example, the most popular social activity for me and my friends is going to the theater after dinner because everyone can afford and enjoy it. Therefore, a growing number of people opt to do this in their spare time. Looking at this in a big picture, it generates positive consequences for us. The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can effectively stimulate the economic growth as the tertiary industry, which plays a vital role in the economic development will be significantly benefitted by this. For instance, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the film industry is one of the pillar industries of the country’s economy. As can be seen, this advantage has a profound impact on our society. To sum up, the trend of watching movies to kill free time is being increasingly witnessed these days. This essay discussed why it is happening, such as the development of film making technologies and cheaper prices. This essay also explained why this trend is beneficial for our society.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are free, is
currently
increasing these days. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss why this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has occurred, including the booming development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
making technologies and affordable prices. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I believe the impact of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
on our life can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

There are various compelling reasons why going to the theater in the spare time is gaining popularity nowadays and the prominent one is that the film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is
incredibly
developing in recent years compared to the past as advancements in technology enables filmmakers to produce a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to attract more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them and satisfy their emotional needs.
Additionally
, the affordable prices of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is
also
making meaningful contributions to this tendency. Take myself
for example
, the most popular social activity for me and my friends is going to the theater after dinner
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone can afford and enjoy it.
Therefore
, a growing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt to do this in their spare time.

Looking at this in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
picture, it generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
consequences for us. The crucial beneficial factor of this tendency is that it can
effectively
stimulate the economic growth as the tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, which plays a vital role in the economic development will be
significantly
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
by this.
For instance
, a recent study conducted in Japan has revealed that the film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is one of the pillar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
of the country’s economy. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, this advantage has a profound impact on our society.

To sum up, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to kill free time is being
increasingly
witnessed these days. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
discussed why it is happening, such as the development of film making technologies and cheaper prices. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is beneficial for our society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More people are spending their free time watching movies. Why is this? Is it a good thing or bad thing? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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