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In some countries, a few people earn extremaly high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should coltrol salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both of views and give your opinion. v.1

In some countries, a few people earn extremaly high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should coltrol salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 1
There are some countries where only a tiny slice of the population receives extremaly high wages. Whereas it is believed that this brings positive outcomes for a nation, others argue that authorities should regulate and limit how much a single person can earn. This essay is going to explain both views and give my opinion. Some people think that the majority of wealth should be owned by whom know how to invest and multiply it. In other words, only a small number of people are skilled to do this. For instance, investitors have the knowlege to choose the most competitive new businesses and sponsor them. As a result, they generate job vacancies for those who do not have the same soft skills and the economy is hited by the increase of the buying power of this population. However, salarie disparity leads to social inequality and poverty since who is in the top of the piramyd always earn the largest slice of the profitis and put pressure on those who are in the botton, earning the lowest wages and working for long hours. Often, these people do not have a living wage to support themselves and their family. This situation leads to social problems such as crime. The rapid increase of violence in developing countries is an example of the negative impact of the concentration of wealth. To conclude, I believe that societies should be more equal when it comes to salaries and it is not sustainable to keep an elite earning unrealistic wages while others are facing hunger. The governmente should legislate to enable a fair wealth distribution. By doing this, all classes in a nation could afford a decent live and many social problems would be addressed.
There are
some
countries where
only
a tiny slice of the population receives
extremaly
high wages. Whereas it
is believed
that this brings
positive
outcomes for a nation, others argue that authorities should regulate and limit how much a single person can earn. This essay is going to
explain
both views and give my opinion.

Some
people
think
that the majority of wealth should be
owned
by whom know how to invest and multiply it.
In other words
,
only
a
small
number of
people
are skilled
to do this.
For instance
,
investitors
have the
knowlege
to choose the most competitive new businesses and sponsor them.
As a result
, they generate job vacancies for those who do not have the same soft
skills
and the economy is
hited
by the increase of the buying power of this population.

However
,
salarie
disparity leads to social inequality and poverty since who is in the top of the
piramyd
always earn the largest slice of the
profitis
and put pressure on those who are in the
botton
, earning the lowest wages and working for long hours.
Often
, these
people
do not have a living wage to support themselves and their family. This situation leads to social problems such as crime. The rapid increase of violence in
developing countries
is an example of the
negative
impact of the concentration of wealth.

To conclude
, I believe that societies should be more equal when it
comes
to salaries and it is not sustainable to
keep
an elite earning unrealistic wages while others are facing hunger. The
governmente
should legislate to enable a
fair
wealth distribution. By doing this, all classes in a nation could afford a decent
live
and
many
social problems would
be addressed
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremaly high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should coltrol salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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