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More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas? v.6

More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas? v. 6
The demand for houses has increased rapidly these days, due to the significant growth of the world population. Some people think that it is better for property developers to build more houses in existing cities, while others believe that it would be better to build new areas. The following essay will discuss both arguments in details. It is a fact that the world population has grown rapidly nowadays which increased the demand for housing. It is believed that building more houses in the existing town is better than to expand to new areas. As most workplaces are located in cities surrounding, it would be better for residents to have accommodation which is located near to their work. However, many people do not realise that building more properties in the town means that the city would become denser and traffic congestion would become worst. As a result, air pollution become worst and it distracts the health condition of the residents. On the other hand, developing new housing areas bring a lot of benefits for the people. Firstly, new towns or cities have a lower property price than those who are located in the city centre, therefore more people could own a house. Secondly, as some of the cities' people move to new towns, it would gradually reduce the density, air pollution and traffic problems in the cities themselves. Thirdly, by developing rural areas, it would develop the economic growth of the rural areas themselves, as there will be new commercial areas and new workplaces as well. In conclusion, it is obvious that the demand for properties has risen due to the increase of the world population. To cope with the issue, people could build more houses in existing cities or develop new towns. I personally believe that building and developing new areas is better than building new houses in the existing towns.
The demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
has increased
rapidly
these days, due to the significant growth of the world population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
developers to build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, while others believe that it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. The following essay will discuss both arguments in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

It is a fact that the world population has grown
rapidly
nowadays which increased the demand for housing. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than to expand to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. As most workplaces
are located
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
surrounding, it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for residents to have accommodation which
is located
near to their work.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properties
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
town
means that the city would become denser and traffic congestion would become worst.
As a result
, air pollution become worst and it distracts the health condition of the residents.

On the other hand
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
housing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for the
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people
.
Firstly
,
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new
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towns
or
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cities
have a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
property
price than those who
are located
in the city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
therefore
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
.
Secondly
, as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
cities'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
, it would
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the density, air pollution and traffic problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
themselves.
Thirdly
, by developing rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, it would develop the economic growth of the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
themselves, as there will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
workplaces
as well
.

In conclusion
, it is obvious that the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
properties
has risen due to the increase of the world population. To cope with the issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could build more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
or develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
. I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
towns
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
57Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay More houses are needed in many countries to cope with increasing populations. Would it be better to build houses in existing towns and cities, or to develop new towns in rural areas? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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