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More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people think that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.3

More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people think that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. 3
Nowadays, worldwide organizations like WHO, UNICEF and so on help other developing nations and even poorer countries. Some people consider, monetary aid is better than technical aid. In my opinion, both of them are really crucial and also this essay will discuss on both views. Firstly, if I want to analyse financial assistance to developing countries, I would say that these countries need to start a project or finish the other ones. In order to do this, they need to pay their staff. In fact, improving economy of a country needs balance between payments and prices. If the government increases their prices in order to pay their staff, is not a good strategy. So sometimes monetary help is better than practical one. But, this kind of help may raise corruption in government and spend it on the own works. On the other hand, developing countries need more instruments, companies and developed systems to improve. For instance, better transportation systems or health care machines or moreover, they may need guidance from some expert specialists to launch or continue a plan. Though, advice or technical assistance is indispensable but, there are some problems may face. For example, transporting instruments from country to country, they may hurt during this journey. To sum up, international agencies should consider every aspect and then decide whether monetary, practical or advice aid will help. In addition, they observe each process and make sure everything is going well. I strongly believe, both points of views are equally required and essential and choosing one of them for help depends on organizations and also their policies.
Nowadays, worldwide organizations like WHO, UNICEF and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
other developing nations and even poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider, monetary aid is better than technical aid. In my opinion, both of them are
really
crucial and
also
this essay will discuss on both views.

Firstly
, if I want to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
financial assistance to developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I would say that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
a project or finish the other ones. In order to do this, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pay their staff. In fact, improving economy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
balance between payments and prices. If the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
increases their prices in order to pay their staff, is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
strategy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
is better than practical one.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
may raise corruption in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and spend it on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
works.

On the other hand
, developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more instruments,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and developed systems to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
For instance
, better transportation systems or health care machines or
moreover
, they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
guidance from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expert specialists to launch or continue a plan. Though, advice or technical assistance is indispensable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems may face.
For example
, transporting instruments from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they may hurt during this journey.

To sum up, international agencies should consider every aspect and then decide whether monetary, practical or advice aid will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
In addition
, they observe each process and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure everything is going well. I
strongly
believe, both points of views are
equally
required and essential and choosing one of them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
depends on organizations and
also
their policies.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people think that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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