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TOPIC: More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

TOPIC: More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. 1
Developing countries often receive different types of aids from international organizations. It is argued by some that financial help is important; however, others argue that other kind of aids, such as practical aid, is more important. In my opinion, developing countries should be provided with practical aid as it will help them in overcoming financial issues in the long run. This essay will discuss both sides, and it will also explain why practical aid is more important. On the one hand, many people believe that developing countries should be provided with financial assistance because it will improve the living standard of the public. If a country has finances, it would be possible for the government to invest in different projects such as transport, healthcare and education, due to which overall living standard of the people in developing countries will improve. For instance, Afghanistan was provided financial aid by different organizations and countries around the world, which helped in improving the educational and health sector in the country. Because of this reason, some people apprehend that financial aid should be provided. On the other hand, some argue that different practical skills and strategies should be shared with the developing countries, and I agree with this school of thought as it will decrease the impoverished nation’s dependency on others in the long run. By sharing practical skills and advice, skilled workforce in developing countries will increase. These people would be able to get better employment opportunities for possessing a specific skill and can also establish their businesses in their home countries which will eventually create more job opportunities. Take Iraq, for example, where foreign NGOs are working on teaching different skills to the public in order to make them self sufficient. Therefore, because of this, I believe emerging nations should be provided with practical skills and advice. To conclude, although some people are in favour of providing financial aid to the developing countries, I personally believe that financial help is a short term solution, and practical aid and advice would benefit developing countries more as it will make these countries self-sufficient, and their dependency on other countries will decrease.
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Developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
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often
receive
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different
types of
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aids
from international organizations. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
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financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
;
however
, others argue that
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other
kind of
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aids
, such as
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practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
, is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion,
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should be
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provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
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aid
as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in overcoming
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financial
issues in the long run. This essay will discuss both sides, and it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
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practical
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aid
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand,
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many
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people
believe that
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developing
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countries
should be
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provided
with
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financial
assistance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living standard of the public. If a
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country
has finances, it would be possible for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to invest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
projects such as transport, healthcare and education, due to which
overall
living standard of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
For instance
, Afghanistan was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
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financial
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aid
by
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different
organizations and
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countries
around the world, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in improving the educational and health sector in the
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country
.
Because of this
reason,
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some
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people
apprehend that
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financial
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aid
should
be provided
.

On the
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other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
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different
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practical
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skills
and strategies should
be shared
with the
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developing
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countries
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as it will decrease the impoverished nation’s dependency on others in the long run. By sharing
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practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and advice, skilled workforce in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
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countries
will increase. These
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people
would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better employment opportunities for possessing a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
and can
also
establish their businesses in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which will
eventually
create more job opportunities. Take Iraq,
for example
, where foreign NGOs are working on teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to the public in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
.
Therefore
,
because of this
, I believe emerging nations should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and advice.

To conclude
, although
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some
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people
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of providing
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financial
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aid
to the
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
is a short term solution, and
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practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aid
and advice would benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
self-sufficient, and their dependency on
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other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will decrease.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay TOPIC: More developing countries are given aid from international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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