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Write about the following topic: Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

: Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1
Today, the prevalence of transportation has dominated the modern society by its availability and convenience. This leads to the construction of civil infrastructures such as railways or roads with the aim of aiding the citizens' commuting. In my opinion, I disagree that governments should spend more of national budget on building railways rather than roads due to a lot of factors. First and foremost, the crucial role of city roads cannot be denied, especially in these hectic days when life is getting more sophisticated. To be more specific, going to the local street stores could be done easier by driving a motorbike or just walking. Another example is that it does not take much time and efforts for a five-minute walk to the adjacent schools or market for your daily demands without having to buy train tickets to do so. Moreover, a considerable amount of money has been spent for the upgrade or maintenance of roads in the past decades. Therefore, there is no question that governments should concentrate more on railways if they cease to serve the basic needs from individuals. Another point that is worth considering is that constructing railways may take longer time as well as more financial aids. Take the gas stations in district 1 Ho Chi Minh City as an example, five years has been the time frame needed for the completion of the project, which also requires a significant number of workforce and business vendors from Japan or America. This, as a result, would increase the taxation from residents in order to cover the expenses generated from these national projects. Be that as it may, travelling in long distances could be supported by railways because it can be safer and much faster. In conclusion, governments should prioritise the demand of travelling on roads rather railways because of all the mentioned benefits. Instead of wasting more money on railroads, the maintenance of roads should be more considered in order to assist the citizens better.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, the prevalence of transportation has dominated the modern society by its availability and convenience. This leads to the construction of civil infrastructures such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
with the aim of aiding the citizens' commuting. In my opinion, I disagree that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should spend more of national budget on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
factors.

First
and foremost, the crucial role of city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
cannot
be denied
,
especially
in these hectic days when life is getting more sophisticated. To be more specific, going to the local street stores could
be done
easier by driving a motorbike or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
walking. Another example is that it does not take much time and efforts for a five-minute walk to the adjacent schools or market for your daily demands without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
train tickets to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Moreover
, a considerable amount of money has
been spent
for the upgrade or maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
in the past decades.
Therefore
, there is no question that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should concentrate more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
if they cease to serve the basic needs from individuals.

Another point
that is
worth considering is that constructing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
may take longer time
as well
as more financial aids. Take the gas stations in district 1 Ho Chi Minh City as an example, five years has been the time frame needed for the completion of the project, which
also
requires a significant number of workforce and business vendors from Japan or America. This,
as a result
, would increase the taxation from residents in order to cover the expenses generated from these national projects. Be that as it may, travelling in long distances could
be supported
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can be safer and much faster.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
the demand of travelling on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
rather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all the mentioned benefits.
Instead
of wasting more money on railroads, the maintenance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
should be more considered in order to assist the citizens better.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. with this statement? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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