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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experi v.15

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. 15
In the last 50 years, an increasingly number of people are becoming fat or even obese and this trend is worring especially for many children, who are experincing all the drawbacks of being overweight since an early age. In this essay I' m going to discuss some of the causes and effects of this awful phenomenon. Nowadays we are experiencing a pervasive advertisement about food, some of it specifically targeted to the youngest. Almost all children like the sweet and the corporations know that, so they develop specific publicitarian campaigns for this public, sometimes using testimonials who are appealing for a young public, such as football players, singers or even characters chosen from the cartoons. The effects of those unscrupolous campaigns are severe, because the child automatically associate the so-called " junk food" with a specific behaviour of his favourite " hero" . For example, many fast-food chains design their mascottes in a fun way, depicting them as clowns to better engage the children and to create a constant " party athmosfere" associated with the food consumption. Beside the food abuse, another important cause is the sedentary lifestyle. Just a few decades ago, the children were used to play a lot of active games, usually outdoor. In every neightborood, there were groups of children playing football, hide-and-seek, and many other games who make them active. Currently, the games are mostly electronic and played indoor. During my childhood, for instance, I was used to spend the summer holidays in the countryside, with my grandparents, and I was out to play with my friends most of the time; my younger cousins, on the contrary ar far more sedentary and, even they have many friends, they spend the time mostly at home. To summarize, the two most important causes of the growing infant overweight are the power of the advertisement and the constant decline of the outdoor activities, the first is related with an unbalanced died, the second is responsible a lack of exercise.
In the last 50 years, an
increasingly number
of
people
are becoming
fat
or even obese and this trend is
worring
especially
for
many
children
, who are
experincing
all the drawbacks of being overweight since an early age. In this essay
I&
#039; m going to discuss
some of the
causes and effects of this awful phenomenon.

Nowadays we are experiencing a pervasive advertisement about food,
some
of it
specifically
targeted to the youngest. Almost all
children
like the sweet and the corporations know that,
so
they develop specific
publicitarian
campaigns for this public,
sometimes
using testimonials who are appealing for a young public, such as football players, singers or even characters chosen from the cartoons. The effects of those
unscrupolous
campaigns are severe,
because
the child
automatically
associate the
so
-called
&quot
; junk
food&quot
; with a specific
behaviour
of his
favourite
&quot
;
hero&quot
;
.
For example
,
many
fast
-food chains design their
mascottes
in a fun way
, depicting them as clowns to better engage the
children
and to create a constant
&quot
; party
athmosfere&quot
; associated with the food consumption.

Beside the food abuse, another
important
cause is the sedentary lifestyle.
Just
a few decades ago, the
children
were
used
to play
a lot of
active games,
usually
outdoor. In every
neightborood
, there were groups of
children
playing football,
hide
-and-seek, and
many
other games who
make
them active.
Currently
, the games are
mostly
electronic and played indoor. During my childhood,
for instance
, I was
used to spend
the summer holidays in the countryside, with my grandparents, and I was out to play with my friends most of the time; my younger cousins,
on the contrary
ar
far more sedentary and, even they have
many
friends, they spend the time
mostly
at home.

To summarize
, the two most
important
causes of the growing infant overweight are the power of the advertisement and the constant decline of the outdoor activities, the
first
is related
with an unbalanced
died
, the second is responsible a lack of exercise.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Mistakes
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IELTS essay More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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