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More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. v. 1

In virtually all developed countries around the world, rates of overweight and obesity have been rising alarmingly. This trend can be seen in all age groups, but is particularly worrying where children are concerned. Before looking at the consequences of childhood obesity, it is necessary to examine the various interconnecting causes. There is no one cause of obesity in children, but instead a variety of contributing factors. There is a growing body of evidence that certain genes predispose young people to be obese. However, environment and lifestyle still play a major role. Children today lead far more sedentary lives than those in the past; instead of playing sports and games outdoors they are more likely to spend their time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. Even though they use little energy, they consume large numbers of calories in the form of junk food and soft drinks, and these excess calories are likely to manifest as weight gain. Whatever the causes of juvenile obesity, the effects are extremely serious. People who have weight problems when they are children will in all likelihood have a lifelong struggle with their weight, which in turn can lead to serious health problems such as diabetes and heart disease. In some extreme cases they might not even make it to adulthood. There have been cases of children as young as eight suffering from heart attacks linked to obesity. To sum up, it is clear that obesity in children is one of the major health issues facing developed nations today. Unless governments make a serious investment in examining and dealing with both the genetic and environmental causes of this problem, it is one that is likely to grow.

IELTS essay More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

In
virtually
all
developed countries
around the world, rates of overweight and obesity have been rising
alarmingly
. This trend can be
seen
in all age groups,
but
is
particularly
worrying where
children
are concerned
.
Before
looking at the consequences of childhood obesity, it is necessary to examine the various interconnecting causes. There is no one cause of obesity in
children
,
but
instead
a variety of contributing factors. There is a growing body of evidence that certain genes predispose young
people
to be obese.
However
, environment and lifestyle
still
play a major role.
Children
today
lead far more sedentary
lives
than those in the past;
instead
of playing sports and games outdoors they are more likely to spend their time sitting in front of a television or computer screen.
Even though
they
use
little
energy, they consume large numbers of calories in the form of junk food and soft drinks, and these excess calories are likely to manifest as weight gain. Whatever the causes of juvenile obesity, the effects are
extremely
serious.
People
who have weight problems when they are
children
will in all likelihood have a lifelong struggle with their weight, which in turn can lead to serious health problems such as diabetes and heart disease. In
some
extreme cases they might not even
make
it to adulthood. There have been cases of
children
as young as eight suffering from heart attacks linked to obesity. To sum up, it is
clear
that obesity in
children
is one of the major health issues facing developed nations
today
. Unless
governments
make
a serious investment in examining and dealing with both the genetic and environmental causes of this problem, it is one
that is
likely to grow.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Essay
4 paragraphs
284 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resources: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Band score ≥ 7
  • Band score ≤ 6
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