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Topic 1: Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v.2

Topic 1: Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v. 2
Today, Soaring crime rates in urban areas have sparked considerable public debate. Although this issue can be attributed to a host of reasons, some feasible solutions can be utilized to address it. Some reasons can be cited to explain the emergence of this problem. Firstly, drug trafficking is the underlying cause of increasing crime rates. Specifically, urban areas are appealing places for drug dealers to make profits by targeting vulnerable persons suffering from unemployment or a broken relationship. Besides, many scientists suggest that the human brain is susceptible to the side effects of drugs; means that addicts are more likely to commit crimes after getting high. Nevertheless, this situation can be remedied, provided that some reasonable steps are taken. First, the government should take the initiative to tighten the law to reduce drug trafficking and drug dealers. Besides, along with fixing the loophole of law, education is the essential step to reduce the crimes. By giving criminal knowledge, It not only helps them realized the harm of illegal activities but also provide them with another chance to affiliate with society. In conclusion, the problem of soaring crime rates exists due to drug trafficking. Tackling this problem depend not only on the individual’s effort but also on society' s attempt to diminish the crime rates.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, Soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
in urban areas have sparked considerable public debate. Although this issue can
be attributed
to a host of reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feasible solutions can
be utilized
to address it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
reasons can
be cited
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the emergence of this problem.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking is the underlying cause of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
Specifically
, urban areas are appealing places for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
profits by targeting vulnerable persons suffering from unemployment or a broken relationship.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
scientists suggest that the human brain is susceptible to the side effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
; means that addicts are more likely to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after getting high.

Nevertheless
, this situation can
be remedied
, provided that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasonable steps
are taken
.
First
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take the initiative to tighten the law to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers.
Besides
, along with fixing the loophole of law, education is the essential step to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. By giving criminal knowledge, It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them realized the harm of illegal activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide them with another chance to affiliate with society.

In conclusion
, the problem of soaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
exists due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking. Tackling this problem depend not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the individual’s effort
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
society&
#039; s attempt to diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic 1: Crime rate, in most countries, is often higher in urban areas than in rural areas. Why do you think that is? What can be done to reduce the crime rate? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
214 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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