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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.2

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2
Some wild animals are going to totally disappear from the world and many are at the risk to be completely died for the world. This essay will tell the cause of these situations and also discuss the solution for this. Nowadays, its becoming the main issue in the world that many species of wild creatures are going to eliminate in upcoming years and also many are listed in danger to be finished from the world. The main reason is that hunting these animals is a trend and a hobby for some people. They visit the jungles and kill them for their internal relaxation that is causing a big issue for animals. Sea creatures are also facing this problem. Sea generation also facing the pollution problems by the waste of humans that is thrown in the water. Another issue is construction of buildings and demolishing of forest lands. When land is used for public with buildings and other resources, these animals move to some other areas which are not suitable for them and they loss their lives. At that time, many animals started walking in between the public areas, and due to fears in people, security and locals kill them to save their own lives. Like in India, mostly lions, cheetahs or leopards attack people in societies where these residents to shoot them. Due to this, now in the India lions category is less than before. The solution of this problem is that government has to take full response by taking care of the woodlands, sea areas. They have to restrict hunting and giving punishments to them who disobey the rules. Public humans also have a responsibility that they have to check that, are they harming the animals. Are they making some difficulties to these breeds in their living? Everyone has to control on these events, so that these species grow up and remain until the end of the world. These are the beauty of world and also important to us. Disappearance of animals from the world rising from decades that is a very sad thing for us. We have to take some big steps to control this and giving full opportunities for the wild animals to live in this world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are going to
totally
disappear from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to be completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the cause of these situations and
also
discuss the solution for this.

Nowadays, its becoming the main issue in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of wild creatures are going to eliminate in upcoming years and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are listed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
be finished
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. The main reason is that hunting these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a trend and a hobby for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They visit the jungles and kill them for their internal relaxation
that is
causing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Sea creatures are
also
facing this problem. Sea generation
also
facing the pollution problems by the waste of humans that
is thrown
in the water. Another issue is construction of buildings and demolishing of forest lands. When land is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for public with buildings and other resources, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other areas which are not suitable for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they
Did you mean "lost" (past tense of the verb 'lose')?
loss
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. At that time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
walking in between the public areas, and due to fears in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, security and locals kill them to save their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Like in India,
mostly
lions, cheetahs or leopards attack
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in societies where these residents to shoot them. Due to this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in the India lions category is less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

The solution of this problem is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
take full response by taking care of the woodlands, sea areas. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
restrict hunting and giving punishments to them who disobey the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
. Public humans
also
have a responsibility that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
that, are they harming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Are they making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties to these breeds in their living? Everyone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
control on these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that these species grow up and remain until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. These are the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to us.

Disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
rising from decades
that is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
sad thing for us. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
steps to control this and giving full opportunities for the wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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