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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.3

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3
A lot of uncultivated mammalian are on the edge of disappearance and others are on the line of jeorpady. This is as a result of poaching, and fortunately there is a way to curb this problem, which is restricted hunting law. The number one reason why wild animals are at risk of extinction is due to illegal hunting and killing of them. People unlawfully trap and kill these endangered species for money. The market for the vanishing animals is at large thus expensive, so poachers take this opportunity to sell to those markets. For example, rhinos in Botswana are endangered species for their horns, which is believed to be selling at a higher bid, so illegal hunters have been killing them non stop this reducing their number. As a result, poaching is the main reason for endangered wild animals vanishing. Although poaching contributes to disappearing of wild animals, setting of strict rules can combat that. The government must employ harsh laws that prevent the killing of those wild animals at risk of extinction so that people cannot dare to unlawfully kill those animals. For example, a law which stated that, anyone found guilty of illegal hunting of jeorpadized undomesticated species must face life imprisonment as a penalty. Thus making harsh laws towards illegal hunting can help curb the problem of vanishing of endangered animals. In conclusion, many wild animals are at the margin of destruction and others on the imperil list. This is due to poaching and can be solved by setting tough tarriffs on those who hunt those animal illegally.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
uncultivated mammalian are on the edge of disappearance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are on the line of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeorpady
. This is
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poaching
, and
fortunately
there is a way to curb this problem, which
is restricted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
law.

The number one reason why wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
and killing of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
unlawfully
trap and kill these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species for money. The market for the vanishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is at large
thus
expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
poachers take this opportunity to sell to those markets.
For example
, rhinos in Botswana are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species for their horns, which
is believed
to be selling at a higher bid,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
hunters have been killing them non
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
this reducing their number.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poaching
is the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
vanishing.

Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poaching
contributes to disappearing of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, setting of strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
can combat that. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
employ harsh laws that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the killing of those wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of extinction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot dare to
unlawfully
kill those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
For example
, a law which stated that, anyone found guilty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
jeorpadized
undomesticated species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
face life imprisonment as a penalty.
Thus
making harsh laws towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
curb the problem of vanishing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
animals.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are at the margin of destruction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
on
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'imperil' is correct. If 'imperil' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the imperil
list. This is due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poaching
and can
be solved
by setting tough
Possible spelling mistake found.
tarriffs
on those who hunt those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
illegally
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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