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Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? v.7

Most of the senior citizens are not getting proper care from their families instead of they are put it in the nursing homes. Sending aged people to a nursing home has advantages and disadvantages. One of the main benefits of caring home is safety. Nowadays, nobody is there at home to look after elderly people because both men and women are working. Elderly people can meet persons of their same age in nursing homes and they can share past events in their life to others. Moreover, they will be always engaged with some activities which is good for their physical and mental wellbeing. If old age people are alone at home, then there would be chance for burglary. Elderly people may forget to take their medicine at proper time, but if they are in the nursing homes then they get proper attention from the carers. On the other hand, sending elderly people to nursing homes have some disadvantages. Aged people may not get interaction with their family members. Furthermore, grandchildren may not get affection from their grandparents. Aged people love to spend their valuable time with their grandchildren, but this would not be possible if they are in the caring homes. Elderly people are interested to drop their grandchildren to school and to do some household chores. Grandparents are better than nannies to take care of small children because nannies’ payment are too high which is not affordable for common people. To summarize, elderly people in nursing homes get proper attention from the carers which is good for them. If aged people are in the caring homes, then they miss all beautiful moments with their grandchildren.
Most of the senior citizens are not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
care from their families
instead
of they
are put
it in the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. Sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a nursing home has advantages and disadvantages.

One of the main benefits of caring home is safety. Nowadays, nobody is there at home to look after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are working.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
persons of their same age in nursing
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
homes and
they can share past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in their life to others.
Moreover
, they
The adverb ‘always’ is usually put between ‘will’ and ‘be’.
will be always
engaged with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for their physical and mental wellbeing. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are alone at home, then there would be chance for burglary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may forget to take their medicine at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they are in the nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
attention from the carers.

On the other hand
, sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interaction with their family members.
Furthermore
, grandchildren may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
affection from their grandparents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend their valuable time with their grandchildren,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this would not be possible if they are in the caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
to drop their grandchildren to school and to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
household chores. Grandparents are better than nannies to take care of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nannies’ payment are too high which is not affordable for common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summarize
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in nursing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proper
attention from the carers which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in the caring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, then they miss all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
moments with their grandchildren.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. what are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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