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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v.2

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2
Nowadays, many living things in the forest are about to disappear from our knowledge and barely live. It is believed that the root of problems is the environmental issue caused by humans. Therefore, we should consider all necessary means such as sustainable approaches. First, deforestation can result in the loss of habitats. Many animals rely on various types of trees. For example, birds build their nest in the tree and use up the part of trees which is a leaf to construct their home. Thus, trees play a vital role in birds' lives. Likewise, Trees can accommodate many species which are monkeys and insects. To prevent any further damage, the government can implement a policy regarding the limitation of activities in forests. Second, the expansion of cities consumes some portion of the natural area as there is a significant growth of populations. Other living things may have to sacrifice their life for the need of men. For instance, people in rural area migrant to the remote part of town while the property company would have to supply more housing on isolated land. In fact, forests are considered to be vacant lands. However, there is a possible solution to the overpopulated situation in which people could seek alternative residences like apartments. The apartment can ensure spaces for many families. Therefore, the forest would remain as a major part. In conclusion, there are many other causes that impact our neighbours, but the most significant cause is the invasion of the animal's home. The approach requires the cooperation of both officials and private sectors at the national level. Therefore, the animal should be maintained utmost by humans.
Nowadays,
many
living things in the forest are about to disappear from our knowledge and
barely
live
. It
is believed
that the root of problems is the environmental issue caused by humans.
Therefore
, we should consider all necessary means such as sustainable approaches.

First
, deforestation can result in the loss of habitats.
Many
animals rely on various types of
trees
.
For example
, birds build their nest in the
tree
and
use
up the part of
trees
which is a leaf to construct their home.
Thus
,
trees
play a vital role in birds'
lives
.
Likewise
,
Trees
can accommodate
many
species which are monkeys and insects. To
prevent
any
further
damage, the
government
can implement a policy regarding the limitation of activities in forests.

Second, the expansion of cities consumes
some
portion of the natural area as there is a significant growth of populations. Other living things may
have to
sacrifice their
life
for the need of
men
.
For instance
,
people
in rural area migrant to the remote part of town while the property
company
would
have to
supply more housing on isolated land. In fact, forests
are considered
to be vacant lands.
However
, there is a possible solution to the overpopulated situation in which
people
could seek alternative residences like apartments. The apartment can ensure spaces for
many
families.
Therefore
, the forest would remain as a major part.

In conclusion
, there are
many
other causes that impact our
neighbours
,
but
the most significant cause is the invasion of the animal's home. The approach requires the cooperation of both officials and private sectors at the national level.
Therefore
, the animal should
be maintained
utmost by humans.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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