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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v.1

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 1
The decreasing number of animals, which mostly cause by cutting down trees and illegal killing of animals, is a major problem in the current era. If we are comparing our past and present we can see the count of many animals has drastically reduced because of these illegal activities. This essay first discusses how the diversity of animal species can be achieved by protecting our animals, then we discuss awareness programs that help to prevent the extinction of animals. Earth is the only planet that is identified as habitable in our solar system because it has biodiversity and an atmosphere that helps the existence of animals and other species. If a human being is the only living being on the earth, our earth would not have this much beautiful. If we are going to a jungle safari we can see a lot of animals in the forests. Even though some of the animals are dangerous, they are the one who is keeping our forests so much attractive. Wild animals would not attack humans unless humans try to disturb them. So it is necessary to protect all the species in the forests to keep the balance of our nature. For instance, the Tiger population in the world has reduced a lot during the past decades and as a result, Kids in the new generation cannot able to see the Tigers through jungle safaris and other activities. So we should protect our animals for the next generation, so that they could know about earth diversities and species live here. Although all species have the right to live on our planet, humans have been purposefully exploiting them in various ways. Illegal hunting was one of the dangerous hobbies of some people in the past. Even though it has reduced in the current generation, some people in some rural areas are still doing it. Unless we are conducting so awareness programs from childhood itself, these problems should be repeated. We should teach our children about the importance of biodiversity and the importance of all animals in the world so that they will take the necessary actions to fight against these illegal activities in the future. For instance, The illegal hunting of Japan is very low as compared to other countries. This is because of their childhood awareness programs conducted in their schools from their childhood. Thus, we can clearly see that, thought awareness programs these issues can be reduced up to a great extent. In conclusion, Through illegal hunting and cutting down trees, animals suffered a lot and most of the animals are on the edge of extinction. This essay discussed the importance of keeping the biodiversity in our earth and the awareness programs that we need to conduct to prevent the decrement of animals and other living beings. If we are conducting the awareness programs from childhood itself, it is more effecting and it is helpful for the future.
The decreasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, which
mostly
cause by cutting down trees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
killing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, is a major problem in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era. If we are comparing our past and present we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the count of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has
drastically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
activities. This essay
first
discusses how the diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species can
be achieved
by protecting our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, then we discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the extinction of animals.

Earth is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
planet that
is identified
as habitable in our solar system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has biodiversity and an atmosphere that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
species. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
living being on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
would not have this much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we are going to a jungle safari we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the forests.
Even though
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, they are the one who is keeping our forests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much attractive. Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
would not attack
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
try to disturb them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is necessary to protect all the species in the forests to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the balance of our nature.
For instance
, the Tiger population in the world has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
a lot during the past decades and
as a result
, Kids in the new generation
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the Tigers through jungle safaris and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should protect our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for the
next
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
diversities and species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
here.

Although all species have the right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on our planet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have been
purposefully
exploiting them in various ways.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Illegal
hunting was one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
hobbies of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the past.
Even though
it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural areas are
still
doing it. Unless we are conducting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
from childhood itself, these problems should
be repeated
. We should teach our children about the importance of biodiversity and the importance of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they will take the necessary actions to fight against these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
activities in the future.
For instance
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
hunting of Japan is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
conducted in their schools from their childhood.
Thus
, we can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
these issues can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
up to a great extent.

In conclusion
, Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illegal
hunting and cutting down trees,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
suffered a lot and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the edge of extinction. This essay discussed the importance of keeping the biodiversity in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that we need to conduct to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the decrement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
living beings. If we are conducting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
from childhood itself, it is more effecting and it is helpful for the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and many are endangered. What are the causes of it and what measures can be taken to solve it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
486 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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