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More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this? v.1

More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this? v. 1
Higher education was generally associated with scientific subjects; graduates were subsequently regarded as those who possess great amount knowledge in their respective field of study. However, more and more undergraduates are opting for non-scientific (namely artistic) subjects for their university diplomas, and has gravitated noticeable concern from the public. I believe such worrisome attitude is uncalled for and this phenomenon should be regarded as one aspect of the modernizing society. To embark on, one could argue that this trend is induced by rapid automation in myriad job fields. The invention of computers and AIs lifts the burden for human to do mechanical and labour-intensive jobs, allowing them to work on more specialized fields. While such development requires more manpower on technological innovation - which requires STEM-related knowledge - it also allows more juveniles to independently develop their artistic prowess. Over time, the environment between professionals become more competitive as more young talents enter the market; requiring many aspiring artists to study art as a university major. This has brought forth many implications for society at large, most of which are arguably positive. Historically, art is generally put on a high pedestal for its capability to both unite and inspire the general mass. For example, the stability of the Renaissances’ Italy has been attributed to the countless masterpieces of the time that spark interest in theology and Christianity in general. While avant-garde artists may attract more controversies than interest, it still made many ponder about the true nature of human creativity in the age of machines. All in all, the rise in art graduates signifies the diversifying interests of young generations in response to mass automation; while art itself has become timelier than ever as our conventional model of what a human constitutes became less relevant over time.
Higher education was
generally
associated with scientific subjects; graduates were
subsequently
regarded as those who possess great amount knowledge in their respective field of study.
However
, more and more undergraduates are opting for non-scientific (
namely
artistic) subjects for their university diplomas, and has gravitated noticeable concern from the public. I believe such worrisome attitude is
uncalled for
and this phenomenon should
be regarded
as one aspect of the modernizing society.

To embark on, one could argue that this trend
is induced
by rapid automation in myriad job fields. The invention of computers and AIs lifts the burden for human to do mechanical and
labour-intensive
jobs, allowing them to work on more specialized fields. While such development requires more manpower on technological innovation
-
which requires STEM-related knowledge
-
it
also
allows
more juveniles to
independently
develop their artistic prowess. Over time, the environment between professionals become more competitive as more young talents enter the market; requiring
many
aspiring artists to study
art
as a university major.

This has brought forth
many
implications for society at large, most of which are
arguably
positive
.
Historically
,
art
is
generally
put on a high pedestal for its capability to both unite and inspire the general mass.
For example
, the stability of the Renaissances’ Italy has
been attributed
to the countless masterpieces of the time that spark interest in theology and Christianity
in general
. While avant-garde artists may attract more controversies than interest, it
still
made
many
ponder about the true nature of human creativity in the age of machines.

All in all, the rise in
art
graduates signifies the diversifying interests of young generations in response to mass automation; while
art
itself has become timelier than ever as our conventional model of what a human constitutes became less relevant over time.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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