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It has been observed that in many countries there are not enough students choosing to study science subjects at university What do you think are causes of the problem Are there any effects on society v.1

It has been observed that in many countries there are not enough students choosing to study science subjects at university What do you think are causes of the problem Are there any effects on society v. 1
In recent decades, many countries are providing free health services to their people. However, they argue that some treatments are costly due to using expensive medical equipment in the methods. I believe, they will also become free if certain implementations. This essay will outline them with some examples. To begin with, many governments deduct the amount usually from their peoples' income in terms of tax. It ranges from infrastructure to medical science developments. In such a case, the government will extra money from people in dealing with medical treatments are incurring more cost. For instance, a survey conducted by the World Health Organisation that the people of Cuba are paying more money for tax in the name of medical service in order to get an expensive treatments without any cost. Secondly, the Government will hire the medical equipment which is used in the treatments. Consequently, the Government will save more money and people also get the benefit of them. Furthermore, the Government will develop other areas and multiply their incomes and then spend them for Hospital infrastructure and developments. To exemplify, a local newspaper from Tanzania stated that the Government of Tanzania has drawn a program and called the investors for the business opportunities. Thus, they received a good profit and spend them for medical developments. To conclude, every government across the globe should have the responsibility to implement a free health service to people which includes all treatments without any money. To accomplish this, the Government should announce various schemes and organize programmes for their medical improvements.
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are providing free health services to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, they argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
are costly due to using expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment in the methods. I believe, they will
also
become free if certain implementations. This essay will outline them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
deduct the amount
usually
from their peoples' income in terms of tax. It ranges from infrastructure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
science developments. In such a case, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in dealing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
are incurring more cost.
For instance
, a survey conducted by the World Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Cuba are paying more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for tax in the name of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
service in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an expensive
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "treatment"?
treatments
without any cost.

Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
will hire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
equipment which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
will save more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefit of them.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
will develop other areas and multiply their incomes and then spend them for Hospital infrastructure and developments. To exemplify, a local newspaper from Tanzania stated that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
of Tanzania has drawn a program and called the investors for the business opportunities.
Thus
, they received a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
profit and spend them for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
developments.

To conclude
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
across the globe should have the responsibility to implement a free health service to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which includes all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
without any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. To accomplish this, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should announce various schemes and organize
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
improvements.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It has been observed that in many countries there are not enough students choosing to study science subjects at university What do you think are causes of the problem Are there any effects on society v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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