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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 3
Many people now do most of their shopping online or in large supermarkets. Many small, family-run shops do not have enough customers to survive. Some people believe that this is going to happen more and more in the future. However, my view is that there will always be a place for smaller shops. There are many disadvantages to shopping online. Sometimes you have to wait for delivery for several days and sometimes the goods are not what you want. I often have to return clothes and other items because the size or colour is wrong for me. Supermarkets, too, have their drawbacks. The goods are alt the same everywhere. For example, if you buy a coat from a supermarket, you will probably meet other people with exactly the same one. Small, independent shops are more interesting places to shop. You can find unique items which other people will admire. I have a friend who collects antiques, and he finds them in local shops, not supermarkets or web sites. Some small shops specialise in one area, which is very useful. For instance, in music shops, the staff is very knowledgeable about music and instruments. You can get advice about what to buy. Finally, small, local shops give character to a town. In my parents' village there are a few shops selling boating equipment, which suits the place as it is near the sea. I strongly believe that there will always be a place for small shops. However, the owners will need to make sure they sell different things from the supermarkets and keep their shops interesting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
do most of their shopping online or in large supermarkets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
, family-run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
customers to survive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this is going to happen more and more in the future.
However
, my view is that there will always be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for smaller shops.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages to shopping online.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for delivery for several days and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are not what you want. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
return clothes and other items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the size or
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for me. Supermarkets, too, have their drawbacks. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are alt the same everywhere.
For example
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a coat from a supermarket, you will
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with exactly the same one.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
, independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
are more interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
. You can find unique items which other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will admire. I have a friend who collects antiques, and he finds them in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, not supermarkets or
Did you mean "websites"?
web sites
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialise' is British English.
specialise
in one area, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful.
For instance
, in music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
, the staff is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
knowledgeable about music and instruments. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advice about what to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
, local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
give character to a town. In my parents' village there are a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
selling boating equipment, which suits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
as it is near the sea.

I
strongly
believe that there will always be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
.
However
, the owners will need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they sell
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things from the supermarkets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
interesting.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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