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In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 3
Many people now do most of their shopping online or in large supermarkets. Many small, family-run shops do not have enough customers to survive. Some people believe that this is going to happen more and more in the future. However, my view is that there will always be a place for smaller shops. There are many disadvantages to shopping online. Sometimes you have to wait for delivery for several days and sometimes the goods are not what you want. I often have to return clothes and other items because the size or colour is wrong for me. Supermarkets, too, have their drawbacks. The goods are alt the same everywhere. For example, if you buy a coat from a supermarket, you will probably meet other people with exactly the same one. Small, independent shops are more interesting places to shop. You can find unique items which other people will admire. I have a friend who collects antiques, and he finds them in local shops, not supermarkets or web sites. Some small shops specialise in one area, which is very useful. For instance, in music shops, the staff is very knowledgeable about music and instruments. You can get advice about what to buy. Finally, small, local shops give character to a town. In my parents' village there are a few shops selling boating equipment, which suits the place as it is near the sea. I strongly believe that there will always be a place for small shops. However, the owners will need to make sure they sell different things from the supermarkets and keep their shops interesting.
Many
people
now
do most of their shopping online or in large supermarkets.
Many
small
, family-run
shops
do not have
enough
customers to survive.
Some
people
believe that this is going to happen more and more in the future.
However
, my view is that there will always be a
place
for smaller shops.

There are
many
disadvantages to shopping online.
Sometimes
you
have to
wait for delivery for several days and
sometimes
the
goods
are not what you want. I
often
have to
return clothes and other items
because
the size or
colour
is
wrong
for me. Supermarkets, too, have their drawbacks. The
goods
are alt the same everywhere.
For example
, if you
buy
a coat from a supermarket, you will
probably
meet
other
people
with exactly the same one.

Small
, independent
shops
are more interesting
places
to
shop
. You can find unique items which other
people
will admire. I have a friend who collects antiques, and he finds them in local
shops
, not supermarkets or
web sites
.
Some
small
shops
specialise
in one area, which is
very
useful.
For instance
, in music
shops
, the staff is
very
knowledgeable about music and instruments. You can
get
advice about what to
buy
.
Finally
,
small
, local
shops
give character to a town. In my parents' village there are a few
shops
selling boating equipment, which suits the
place
as it is near the sea.

I
strongly
believe that there will always be a
place
for
small
shops
.
However
, the owners will need to
make
sure they sell
different
things from the supermarkets and
keep
their
shops
interesting.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay In the future, the main reason for going to the shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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