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in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage v.5

in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage v. 5
In recent years, thanks to the continual development of online based technology, humans can use more convenient and useful services for shopping and working as well as communication, instead of direct contact with others. This improvement can bring not only positive impacts but also negative effects on the human’s life. On the one hand, the development of online services can be considered as a good sign. The first reason for this is that consumers and workers will save a huge amount of time spent traveling to shops or distant workplaces, if they use internet applications. In particular, many shoppers can use the Internet for shopping, thus saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket as well as hunting around different stores for bargains. Furthermore, interacting with others through the Internet can make significant contributions to building relationships among people from various countries and cultures. A good example can be seen in Facebook, where people with different cultural backgrounds become friends. As a result, people could expand their relationships, or even have opportunities to be exposed to cultural values across the world. On the other hand, although there are clear positive aspects of this trend, there are also adverse aspects of having less face-to-face contact with other people. For instance, to maximize profits, many shops and outlets advertise their goods with the incorrect information of regarding quality on the media such as TV, Facebook and other online shopping software. Therefore, online buyers can be strict into fade and undesirable goods and waste a great deal of money for products with low quality. In addition, communicating with others via online services can cause a wide variety of social problems. In fact, virtual friendships which are formed online may not be genuine. The obvious evidence is that the media carries many horror stories of youngsters who have fallen prey to paedophiles. Therefore, there need to be undertaken many effective actions to control these issues. In conclusion, the development of live tools in terms of shopping, working and communicating can help people make friends and save time. However, this kind of improvement should carry a good part of the blame for the problems in modern society like the deterioration of family relationship and the issues of online purchasing.
In recent years, thanks to the continual development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
based technology, humans can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more convenient and useful services for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and working
as well
as communication,
instead
of direct contact with others. This improvement can bring not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the human’s life.

On the one hand, the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services can
be considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
. The
first
reason for this is that consumers and workers will save a huge amount of time spent traveling to shops or distant workplaces, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
internet applications.
In particular
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shoppers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
thus
saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket
as well
as hunting around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stores for bargains.
Furthermore
, interacting with others through the Internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
significant contributions to building relationships among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various countries and cultures. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
The usual collocation for "Facebook" is "on". Did you mean "on Facebook"?
in Facebook
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural backgrounds become friends.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could expand their relationships, or even have opportunities to
be exposed
to cultural values across the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, although there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects of this trend, there are
also
adverse aspects of having less face-to-face contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, to maximize profits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
shops and outlets advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
with the incorrect information of regarding quality on the media such as TV, Facebook and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
software.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
buyers can be strict into fade and undesirable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
and waste a great deal of money for products with low quality.
In addition
, communicating with others via
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
services can cause a wide variety of social problems. In fact, virtual friendships which
are formed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
may not be genuine. The obvious evidence is that the media carries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
horror stories of youngsters who have fallen prey to
Possible spelling mistake. 'paedophiles' is British English.
paedophiles
.
Therefore
, there need to be undertaken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effective actions to control these issues.

In conclusion
, the development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
tools in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, working and communicating can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends and save time.
However
, this kind of improvement should carry a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
part of the blame for the problems in modern society like the deterioration of family relationship and the issues of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay in the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Show advantage and disadvantage v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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