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More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views a v.6

More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. 6
Nowadays, the crime rate is significantly increasing thus, leaving the government no option but to construct additional prison cells for the law offenders. Some people say that putting criminals in jail for a long period is the solution to the increasing rate of unlawful act. Others believe that psychological therapy plays an important role. This essay agrees that providing assistance psychologically is a better solution. Many people feel that criminals, especially the ones that have committed grave offense should be held in prison for a long period of time as their punishment. The reason for the long-term imprisonment is to prevent them in committing more wrong doings and harm to other citizens. However, I believe that putting felons in jail for a long time will not reduce the crime rate because it does not fix the root cause of the problem. To give an example, in the Philippines, they sentence rapist with more than 20 years of imprisonment but still the percentage of rape cases in the said country did not drop. Convicts should also be given second chance to try to live a decent life provided that they were able to show remorse and positive change in their behavior. The government could provide psychological assessment and evaluation to determine their capacity to change and to avoid unlawful doings once they are release. In addition, those in authority could propose livelihood trainings to inmates that would be beneficial to them whether they are inside or outside jail. It is agreed that this option is more beneficial. For instance, in Cambodia Women’s Jail, their senate is providing them with seminars in tailoring and crafts making that they could use as a livelihood once they are set free. While many will not be in favor of helping criminals to change for the better because they deserve to be punished for their wrong doings, it is therefore agreed that molding them to become a good and law abiding citizen is a promising solution.
Nowadays, the crime rate is
significantly
increasing
thus
, leaving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
no option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to construct additional prison cells for the law offenders.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that putting criminals in jail for a long period is the solution to the increasing rate of unlawful act. Others believe that psychological therapy plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that providing assistance
psychologically
is a better solution.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that criminals,
especially
the ones that have committed grave offense should
be held
in prison for a long period of time as their punishment.

The reason for the long-term imprisonment is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them in committing more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings and harm to other citizens.
However
, I believe that putting felons in jail for a long time will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
the root cause of the problem. To give an example, in the Philippines, they sentence rapist with more than 20 years of imprisonment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the percentage of rape cases in the said country did not drop.

Convicts should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
second chance to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a decent life provided that they were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
remorse and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their behavior. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could provide psychological assessment and evaluation to determine their capacity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and to avoid unlawful doings once they are release.
In addition
, those in authority could propose livelihood trainings to inmates that would be beneficial to them whether they are inside or outside jail.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that this option is more beneficial.
For instance
, in Cambodia Women’s Jail, their senate is providing them with seminars in tailoring and crafts making that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as a livelihood once they
are set
free.

While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
will not be in favor of helping criminals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
for the better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they deserve to
be punished
for their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
doings, it is
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that molding them to become a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
law abiding
citizen is a promising solution.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. 6

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
330 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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