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More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. v. 1
People do not all feel the same about criminals. For some people, it is clear that lawbreakers should be imprisoned for their illegal activities. For others, psychological solutions would be a better way to tackle rising crime. From my point of view, I believe that the combination of both perspectives would tremendously address this controversial topic. On the one hand, promoting the prison term is an acceptable method which has been used as a traditional pattern in many nations. First and foremost, it plays a vital role in an alarm to warn future crimes. Someone with a negative, criminal thought would be appalled due to the long-term detainment, consequently not committing a crime. Besides, lifelong detentions in prison could potentially restrain convicts from reoffending. On the flip side, it is quite common for medical and mental assistance in various nations, such as Switzerland and Hong Kong, with the lowest and second-lowest crime rate in the world. According to detectives and investigators, committing a crime is relevant to psychological issues. In simpler terms, patients having an illusion of becoming heroes or suffering from stimulant syndromes due to heroin and alcohol could break the laws in unconscious conditions. For this reason, treatment of diseases will be a suitable method, helping patients to gain their consciousness and reintegrate into the community. To sum up, I firmly believe that governments should support the idea of linking both approaches as a way to treat criminals because it clearly shows them deterrence as well as humane.
People
do not all feel the same about criminals. For
some
people
, it is
clear
that lawbreakers should
be imprisoned
for their illegal activities. For others, psychological solutions would be a better way to tackle rising
crime
. From my point of view, I believe that the combination of both perspectives would
tremendously
address this controversial topic.

On the one hand, promoting the prison term is an acceptable method which has been
used
as a traditional pattern in
many
nations.
First
and foremost, it plays a vital role in an alarm to warn future
crimes
. Someone with a
negative
, criminal
thought
would
be appalled
due to the long-term detainment,
consequently
not committing a
crime
.
Besides
, lifelong detentions in prison could
potentially
restrain convicts from
reoffending
.

On the flip side, it is quite common for medical and mental assistance in various nations, such as Switzerland and Hong Kong, with the lowest and second-lowest
crime
rate in the world. According to detectives and investigators, committing a
crime
is relevant to psychological issues. In simpler terms, patients having an illusion of becoming heroes or suffering from stimulant syndromes due to
heroin
and alcohol could break the laws in unconscious conditions.
For this reason
, treatment of diseases will be a suitable method, helping patients to gain their consciousness and reintegrate into the community.

To sum up, I
firmly
believe that
governments
should support the
idea
of linking both approaches as a way to treat criminals
because
it
clearly
shows
them deterrence
as well
as humane.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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