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More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views a v.3

More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. 3
In the past few decades, technological advancement in computer technology has been rapidly growing and it is one of the most conspicuous trend in today's world. Some people argue that computers are eliminating human interference in some jobs, which can lead to joblessness. On the other hand, others believe that computers are increasing productivity in a short period of time. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will explain the significance of computers in increased productivity and employment. Firstly, latest technological advancement reduced the wait in the productivity and execution; however, automation enabled computers to deal with manual work, which is time consuming and stressful. For instance, ATM's made banking more sophisticated and convenient in many countries. Moreover, technical advancement in banking made online banking safe and secure across the globe in fast pace. Needless to say, technology is in fact increasing more jobs and reduced delays. Secondly, there are some pitfalls that can overwhelm the potential benefits of this trend. Nowadays, machine learning is giving computers, intelligenceintelligence in making decisions and this can make the computers smarter than humans and this can lead to unemployment. For example, the movie "I ROBOT" shows that the three laws have a loop hole and the computers exploit the loophole and want to eradicate human life from existence because of overpopulation. Hence, intelligence more than required will be a danger in the future, so manual human intervention is necessary in certain jobs. In conclusion, computers are given intelligence and over intelligence can lead to the extinction of the human realm. Finally, the role of humans is too dire to ignore.
In the past few decades, technological advancement in computer technology has been
rapidly
growing and it is one of the most conspicuous trend in
today
's world.
Some
people
argue that computers are eliminating
human
interference in
some
jobs, which can lead to joblessness.
On the other hand
, others believe that computers are increasing productivity in a short period of time. As such, there are both merits and demerits for this trend, this essay will
explain
the significance of computers in increased productivity and employment.

Firstly
,
latest
technological advancement
reduced
the wait in the productivity and execution;
however
, automation enabled computers to deal with manual work, which is
time consuming
and stressful.
For instance
,
ATM's
made banking more sophisticated and convenient in
many
countries.
Moreover
, technical advancement in banking made online banking safe and secure across the globe in
fast
pace. Needless to say, technology is in fact increasing more jobs and
reduced
delays.

Secondly
, there are
some
pitfalls that can overwhelm the potential benefits of this trend. Nowadays, machine learning is giving computers,
intelligenceintelligence
in making decisions and this can
make
the computers smarter than
humans
and this can lead to unemployment.
For example
, the movie
"
I ROBOT
"
shows
that the three laws have a loop hole and the computers exploit the loophole and want to eradicate
human
life from existence
because
of overpopulation.
Hence
, intelligence more than required will be a
danger
in the future,
so
manual
human
intervention is necessary in certain jobs.

In conclusion
, computers are
given
intelligence and over intelligence can lead to the extinction of the
human
realm.
Finally
, the role of
humans
is too dire to
ignore
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals, and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that psychological assistance is what is required. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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