Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Become a doctor nurse or other medical professional typically requires years of training Why do you think some people choose to become a medical professional v.2

Become a doctor nurse or other medical professional typically requires years of training Why do you think some people choose to become a medical professional v. 2
Medical and related professions are one of the most important occupations of a community. Two groups of people are attracted to this discipline, first, people who love to help people and creatures, and another group of interest in high salaries and attraction of popular respect, which is most of them will face on many problems if they don’t follow their dreams. First, those who love their jobs are more successful people, and they can also help people and creatures more. Like Professor Noel Fitzpatrick, he is a famous Veterinarian who is a life-saving treatment, and compassion to make a whole new level of surgery. He has always been trying to get more experiences and trying to find a way to save the animals. Professor Noel Fitzpatrick and his staff as they find extraordinary and creative solutions to save life, bringing hope and peace to the pet which are members of the families. For example, last week a turtle was brought by a lady at the clinic whose hind legs had been eaten by mice. So far, no one has applied artificial turtle legs. He did his best to make it. Connecting the artificial leg went well, but suddenly the turtle' s heart stopped and died. And Noel was very upset. Second, People who enter this profession due to high salaries of medical titles usually get sooner tired than others. I remember in the practical lessons of the medical school we had to autopsy a dead man. those students who has just chosen this field for future high salaries and had no interest in, fainted. But that students who are love their job are enjoying all moments of what they doing. For example, Nurses Make a Real Difference. they save lives every day. a registered nurse earns high salaries. in addition, they work with interesting people, significantly affect people’s lives, often even saving their lives. I should say as a nurse, not one day looks the same. Each day involves meeting different patients with various health concerns. And the moment the patient gets better and gets out of the hospital with a huge smile is a great pleasure for medical team. In conclusion, The work of medical and nursing is very interesting and exciting, and I know that as a person who graduated from nursing school and my sister is a doctor, this field requires much patience and interests.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
and related professions are one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
occupations of a community. Two groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to this discipline,
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creatures, and another group of interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and attraction of popular respect, which is most of them will face on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems if they don’t follow their dreams.

First
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their jobs are more successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creatures more. Like Professor Noel Fitzpatrick, he is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Veterinarian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is a life-saving treatment, and compassion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a whole new level of surgery. He has always been trying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
more experiences and trying to find a way to save the animals. Professor Noel Fitzpatrick and his staff as they find extraordinary and creative solutions to save life, bringing hope and peace to the pet which are members of the families.
For example
, last week a turtle
was brought
by a lady at the clinic whose hind legs had
been eaten
by mice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
far, no one has applied artificial turtle legs. He did his best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it. Connecting the artificial leg went well,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suddenly
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
turtle&
#039; s heart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
. And Noel was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
upset.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enter this profession due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
titles
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
get
sooner tired than others. I remember in the practical lessons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
school we had to autopsy a dead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
those
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'students' should be used.
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
chosen this field for future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
and had no interest in, fainted.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their job are enjoying all moments of what
Did you mean "they're doing", "they are doing", or "they were doing"?
they doing
.
For example
, Nurses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
a Real Difference.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
every day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
registered nurse earns
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
addition, they work with interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
significantly
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
even saving their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I should say as a nurse, not one day looks the same. Each day involves meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
patients with various health concerns. And the moment the patient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
better and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gets
out of the hospital with a huge smile is a great pleasure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
team.

In conclusion
, The work of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and nursing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting and exciting, and I know that as a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
graduated from nursing school and my sister is a doctor, this field requires much patience and interests.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Become a doctor nurse or other medical professional typically requires years of training Why do you think some people choose to become a medical professional v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts