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More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. v. 4
It is irrefutable that the crime is increasing everywhere on the globe at mammoth rate. There is an increase in number of constructing jails for the offenders around the globe. It is often argued that the lifetime imprisonment is the solution to tackle with the lawless act, while others believed that medical and mental aid is the answer. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide an appropriate opinion. To begin with, it is commonly believed by people that lifelong imprisonment is the remedial measure to prevent criminals from committing crime. By the time, they will realise their mistake and improve their behaviour. For instance, in a survey, it is found that 80% offenders has improved their behaviour after the release from the prison. Therefore, lifetime imprisonment is always the best option to punish the inmates. On the other hand, many believed that providing the criminals with proper medical and psychological care will seize the offenders to resort to illegal activity. If the inmates are given the medical care of their mental illness, it will improve their health and they will stop committing misdeeds. For example, according to a research, 50% criminals in jail are mentally ill. Providing them with proper medical treatment will aid in their rehabilitation. Overall, mentally sick offenders should be given mental therapy. To conclude, the crime rate is increasing exponentially around the world. Although some individuals believed that it can be solved by lifelong imprisonment, others think that this issue can be tackled by giving the inmates proper cognitive treatment. In my opinion, individuals who are high risk to the society should be given lifetime imprisonment and this who are mentally ill should be given medical treatment.
It is irrefutable that the crime is increasing everywhere on the globe at mammoth rate. There is an increase in number of constructing jails for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
around the globe. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the solution to tackle with the lawless act, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and mental aid is the answer. This essay will discuss both the arguments in detail and provide an appropriate opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is
commonly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is the remedial measure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
criminals from committing crime. By the time, they will
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their mistake and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For instance
, in a survey, it
is found
that 80%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
after the release from the prison.
Therefore
, lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
is always the best option to punish the inmates.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that providing the criminals with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
and psychological care will seize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
to resort to illegal activity. If the inmates are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
care of their mental illness, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
health and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
committing misdeeds.
For example
, according to a research, 50% criminals in jail are mentally ill. Providing them with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment will aid in their rehabilitation.
Overall
, mentally sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
mental therapy.

To conclude
, the crime rate is increasing
exponentially
around the world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believed
that it can
be solved
by lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this issue can
be tackled
by giving the inmates proper cognitive treatment. In my opinion, individuals who are high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the society should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
lifetime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imprisonment
and this who are mentally ill should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more prisons are being built to house the world’s criminals and many people believe long-term imprisonment is the answer to solving the crime problem. However, others feel that medical and psychological assistance is what is required. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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