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Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v.10

Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 10
Gizmos are becoming popular nowadays, and several people are addicted to buying many devices, which is having some negatives. This essay agrees with this notion that purchasing more than one similar electronic product is squandering of money and also damages the environment. Excessive shopping leads to spending on unnecessary goods, which s mostly spotted in developed nations, and it indicates that people of this nation are satisfied with their standard of life, simultaneously there are other countries which are struggling with their daily necessities. Furthermore, even wealthy nations have many homeless and people living in a derelict condition. Perhaps, instead of repeatedly purchasing similar and updating goods, wealthy individuals should start to contribute towards social upliftment and act responsibly. By purchasing new devices, individuals discard the old items into trash, which eventually ends up in a landfill site. Landfill sites are full of non-recyclable and toxic matter that can harm flora and fauna; hence, the more amount of careless disposing of components leads to a disturbing fact of destroying eco-system. Moreover, according to the Times survey report, around 90 per cent of animals, habitat is affected by the dumping grounds. Therefore minimizing the garbage, we produce would benefit the environment. A simple solution is to repair goods so that it lasts to its maximum life, rather than dumping it. In conclusion, people are hooked to purchase the latest gadgets and devices which pleases them; but then again it leads to spendthrift and has detrimental consequences of mushrooming rubbish. I believe that money should be spent on social development, and people should minimize the amount of scrap they throw out.
Gizmos are becoming popular nowadays, and several
people
are addicted
to buying
many
devices, which is having
some
negatives. This essay
agrees
with this notion that purchasing more than one similar electronic product is squandering of money and
also
damages the environment.

Excessive shopping leads to spending on unnecessary
goods
, which s
mostly
spotted in developed nations, and it indicates that
people
of this nation
are satisfied
with their standard of life,
simultaneously
there are other countries which are struggling with their daily necessities.
Furthermore
, even wealthy nations have
many
homeless and
people
living in a derelict condition. Perhaps,
instead
of
repeatedly
purchasing similar and updating
goods
, wealthy individuals should
start
to contribute towards social
upliftment
and act
responsibly
.

By purchasing new devices, individuals discard the
old
items into trash, which
eventually
ends up in a landfill site. Landfill sites are full of non-recyclable and toxic matter that can harm flora and fauna;
hence
, the more amount of careless disposing of components leads to a disturbing fact of destroying
eco-system
.
Moreover
, according to the Times survey report, around 90 per cent of animals, habitat is
affected
by the dumping grounds.
Therefore
minimizing the garbage, we produce would benefit the environment. A simple solution is to repair
goods
so
that it lasts to its maximum life,
rather
than dumping it.

In conclusion
,
people
are hooked
to
purchase
the latest gadgets and devices which
pleases
them;
but
then again it leads to spendthrift and has detrimental consequences of mushrooming rubbish. I believe that money should
be spent
on social development, and
people
should minimize the amount of scrap they throw out.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people are fond of buying new gadgets, phones, or laptops. Is this a good or bad thing? Discuss your opinion. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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