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The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions. v.1

The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions. v. 1
The table compares the number of millions of viewers who enjoy four types of movies (such as action, romance, comedy and horror) in four different countries (India, Ireland, New Zealand and Japan). The table also shows the total number of audiences in four specific countries. To begin with, it can be clearly observed from the given table that India has the highest movie viewing number of action movies, and 8 million people choose to watch this type. Followed by Ireland, New Zealand and Japan, the number of 7. 6 million, 7. 2 million and 7. 1 million viewers respectively. In addition, India offers the largest ratings for romantic and comedy movies, with 7. 5 million and 6. 5 million viewers. Although the smallest person in Ireland has ever chosen to watch 3. 8 million romantic movies; at least 3. 9 million people like to watch comedy movies in New Zealand. However, New Zealand and Japan have the same number of romantic viewers, with 4. 5 million, while the second largest audience for comedy movies is 5. 5 million in Ireland. On the other hand, India has only 2. 5 million people watching horror movies, and Japan has a historical low of nearly 2. 2 million in the same category. Despite this, Ireland has the largest audience rating of 6. 4 million terrorist types. In addition, it can be noted that action movies are the most popular category, with 29. 9 million viewers, followed by romantic [20. 3 million] and comedy with 19. 9 million viewers. However, horror is the least popular category, with only 15. 8 million viewers choosing to watch. Therefore, it is concluded that India has the most movie viewing figures, with 24. 5 million people in movies and 17. 8 million people watching movies. There are 23. 3 million viewers in Ireland following India, while New Zealand has the third highest number of viewers, with 20. 3 million.
The table compares the
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number
of
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millions
of
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viewers
who enjoy four types of
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movies
(such as action, romance,
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comedy
and horror) in four
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different
countries (India, Ireland,
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New
Zealand and
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Japan)
. The table
also
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shows
the total
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number
of audiences in four specific countries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it can be
clearly
observed from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table that India has the highest
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movie
viewing
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number
of action
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movies
, and 8
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million
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people
choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
this type. Followed by Ireland,
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New
Zealand and
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Japan
, the
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number
of 7. 6
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million
, 7. 2
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million
and 7. 1
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million
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viewers
respectively
.
In addition
, India offers the largest ratings for
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romantic
and
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comedy
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movies
, with 7. 5
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million
and 6. 5
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
the smallest person in Ireland has ever chosen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
3. 8
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
romantic
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movies
; at least 3. 9
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million
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people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
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comedy
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movies
in
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New
Zealand.
However
,
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New
Zealand and
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Japan
have the same
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number
of
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romantic
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viewers
, with 4. 5
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million
, while the second largest audience for
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comedy
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movies
is 5. 5
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million
in Ireland.

On the other hand
, India has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2. 5
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million
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people
watching horror
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movies
, and
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Japan
has a historical low of
nearly
2. 2
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million
in the same category. Despite this, Ireland has the largest audience rating of 6. 4
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million
terrorist types.
In addition
, it can
be noted
that action
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movies
are the most popular category, with 29. 9
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million
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viewers
, followed by
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romantic
[20. 3
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million]
and
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comedy
with 19. 9
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
.
However
, horror is the least popular category, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
15. 8
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewers
choosing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.

Therefore
, it
is concluded
that India has the most
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movie
viewing figures, with 24. 5
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million
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people
in
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movies
and 17. 8
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million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
watching
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movies
. There are 23. 3
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million
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viewers
in Ireland following India, while
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New
Zealand has the third highest
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number
of
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viewers
, with 20. 3
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million
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
72Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The table below shows the cinema viewing figures for films by country, in millions. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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