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More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v.3

More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 3
We currently live in a world where each individual wants to be unique by portraying themselves to be different from one another. For instance, by the clothes they wear, the cars they own and the things they carry with them. Preferable most of them try to buy things from esteemed brands for various reasons. This essay will brief about the reasons behind this purchasing behaviour and also will discuss about its impact on development. Firstly, nearly 60% of the current young population only buy things which are made by popular brands. They believe that these fashion companies offer great quality and in addition they also feel that carrying these items will project their status level in the society. For example, Armani is a well known brand all over the world, mainly for its quality and price. People who wear Armani are considered to be a wealthy person as normal people can't afford buying this expensive item. Hence, the ability to provide good quality and brand identity are the two main key reasons for people opting to buy branded things. So, is it a positive or a negative sign in terms of development? Well, it is considered to be a negative impact on people as they create a false perception based on what others have. They tend to judge people before they have really known them just by seeing their overview. To illustrate it better, considering Bill Gates, who is one of the richest people alive doesn't own any branded stuff and try to look as simple as possible. Well if we try to judge him on his attire then we are totally wrong. Hence, "Don't judge a book by its cover" is the best saying which we need to consider before creating an opinion on people. To sum up, Different people have different buying behaviours which depend on many aspects like some see quality while some other see brand identity. Although it has few positive features like good quality but its negative impacts can easily outweigh them. Hence this essay successfully discussed the main reasons for people buying branded items and also justified why it can be a negative influence on personal development.
We
currently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world where each individual wants to be unique by portraying themselves to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from one another.
For instance
, by the clothes they wear, the cars they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and the things they carry with them. Preferable most of them try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things from esteemed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This essay will brief about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this purchasing
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
also
will
Did you mean simply "discuss its"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about its
impact on development.

Firstly
,
nearly
60% of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
young population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things which
are made
by popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brands
. They believe that these fashion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
offer great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
in addition
they
also
feel that carrying these items will project their status level in the society.
For example
, Armani is a well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
all over the world,
mainly
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and price.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who wear Armani
are considered
to be a wealthy person as normal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can't afford
If 'afford' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to buy".
buying
this expensive item.
Hence
, the ability to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
identity are the two main key
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded things.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, is it a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in terms of development? Well, it
is considered
to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they create a false perception based on what others have. They tend to judge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they have
really
known them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by seeing their overview. To illustrate it better, considering Bill Gates, who is one of the richest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alive doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
any branded stuff and try to look as simple as possible. Well if we try to judge him on his attire then we are
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Hence
,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Don't judge a book by its cover
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is the best saying which we need to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
creating an opinion on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
buying
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
identity. Although it has few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
features like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impacts can
easily
outweigh them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
this essay
successfully
discussed the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
buying branded items and
also
justified why it can be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
influence on personal development.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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