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More and more people today want to own famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

More and more people today want to own famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Currently, the number of people who want to possess high brand-name products has been increasing because of several reasons such as the higher capacity of consumption and the influence of social media. I think this increase will encourage higher the utilization of the population, which is one of the key positive elements of country development. A key factor that increases brand-name products owning is the higher capacity of people in expenditure. It may say that popular brands of clothes, cars and other items are the rich’s products because of their expensive price. However, many countries in the world currently have rapid growth in the economy, comparing to the past ten years ago. This incident leads to a progressive number of rich people. Doubtlessly, this increase causes more and more those who have the capacity to spend on these kinds of products. An apparent example is China. Chinese people have become wealthier rather than in the past because of their country's growth. As a result, China became one of the biggest markets of a variety of brand-name merchandise and has huge spending on these kinds of products. Moreover, not only economic factors, but also the influence of social media on people’s lifestyles are an element persuading people to spend more on high brand-name merchandise. It is inevitable that nowadays social media such as Facebook, Instagram have a very strong influence on the lifestyle of modern people. People taking photos of foods to eat before they post them on social media or sharing styles of clothing on Facebook are very common. The lifestyle of people, especially celebrities, famous people can be wider access to others around the world and easily persuaded them to follow it through social media. The majority of these kinds of people always use famous brand products. Therefore, it can lead to an increase in the utilization of those products. For instance, Roger Federer, a famous tennis player, owned a Rolex watch and posted it on his social media. Over millions of people will see it and at least some of his followers will purchase it following him. To sum up, the number of popular brand-name product owner has risen nowadays, which is resulted from the wealthiest of people as well as the power of social networking. In my opinion, it is a positive path for growing utilization and leads to country development subsequently.
Currently
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to possess high brand-name
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has been increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of several reasons such as the higher capacity of consumption and the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
will encourage higher the utilization of the population, which is one of the key
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
elements of country development.

A key factor that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
brand-name
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
owning is the higher capacity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in expenditure. It may say that popular brands of clothes, cars and other items are the rich’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their expensive price.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in the world
currently
have rapid growth in the economy, comparing to the past ten years ago. This incident leads to a progressive number of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Doubtlessly
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
causes more and more those who have the capacity to spend on these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. An apparent example is China. Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become wealthier
rather
than in the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their country's growth.
As a result
, China became one of the biggest markets of a variety of brand-name merchandise and has huge spending on these kinds of products.

Moreover
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
economic factors,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyles are an element persuading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to spend more on high brand-name merchandise. It is inevitable that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
such as Facebook, Instagram
The singular proper name 'Instagram' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong influence on the lifestyle of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
taking photos of foods to eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they post them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
or sharing styles of clothing on Facebook are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common. The lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
celebrities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be wider access to others around the world and
easily
persuaded them to follow it through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. The majority of these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Therefore
, it can lead to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the utilization of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
, Roger Federer, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
tennis player,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
a Rolex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and posted it on his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Over millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it and at least
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of his followers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it following him.

To sum up, the number of popular brand-name
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
owner has risen nowadays, which
is resulted
from the wealthiest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as the power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
path for growing utilization and leads to country development
subsequently
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay More and more people today want to own famous brands of clothes, cars and other items. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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