Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

more and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing, and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think or it is a positive or negative development? v.1

more and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing, and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think or it is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Desiring for items such as cars, clothing, and other things that are made by well-known labels with expensive price and high quality is becoming a trend. And this problem is a topic of concern in today’s society. In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks to this trend and I think that the negative is overweight the positive. There are some reasons why this trend is attracting attention more and more people. The first justification as well as the main advantage is high quality. Quality is one of the first priorities when you want to own some things. Luxurious products always guarantee the quality of products, many people, especially successful people are willing to spend large sum of money to own them. Secondly, owning expensive brand items is as a way to show status and success. it plays an important role in creating relationship network. However, there are still many disadvantages in buying popular brand products. Firstly, the price of these products are too expensive. Not everyone can afford this large sum of money just to buy an item. People can use amount of this money on other priorities. For example, it will be more beneficial if people they put this money in learning or they can use it for volunteering activities because there are a lot of people who are in poverty. So we shouldn’t use money on unnecessary things. Secondly, it may be an opportunity to stimulate crime rate. In fact, by wearing famous brand accessories in public places, you can be assaulted because of these things. You not only lose your things, but it also affects to your safety. The last one, that is financial problem. Some youngsters want to keep pace with the trend while not good at economy, they try to borrow money to own these expensive products. It is common to see a woman buying a dress that she never wears. In summary, although there are many good reasons but I think it would be better if people consider carefully before buying luxurious brand items.
Desiring for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
such as cars, clothing, and other things that
are made
by well-known labels with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
price and high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
is becoming a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
. And this problem is a topic of concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. In my opinion, there are both benefits and drawbacks to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
is overweight the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is attracting attention more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
first
justification
as well
as the main advantage is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Quality
is one of the
first
priorities when you want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
things. Luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
always guarantee the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are willing to spend large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
them.
Secondly
, owning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
is as a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
status and success.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in creating relationship network.

However
, there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages in buying popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Firstly
, the price of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
. Not everyone can afford this large sum of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
amount of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other priorities.
For example
, it will be more beneficial if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they put this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
learning or
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for volunteering activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we shouldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary things.
Secondly
, it may be an opportunity to stimulate crime rate. In fact, by wearing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
accessories in public places, you can
be assaulted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these things. You not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lose your things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
affects to your safety. The last one,
that is
financial problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
youngsters want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
pace with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
while not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at economy, they try to borrow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. It is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a woman buying a dress that she never wears.

In summary, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it would be better if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
buying luxurious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay more and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing, and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this? Do you think or it is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts