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The best way to solve the world's environmental problems to increase the costs of fuels. Do agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to solve the world's environmental problems to increase the costs of fuels. Do agree or disagree? v. 1
Up to a point, the above given statement is absolutely correct. These day's pollution is too horrible, which is leading to health problems to human life. Pollution is spreading and increasing in today's life in different manners, it can be by smoke, dust, garbage etc. The hazardous infections and asthma problems are mainly due to smoke pollution. The government is trying to eradicate it, by installing air purifiers, but I really don't think this gonna work out. Because, the population is tremendously increasing day by day. Recent studies stated that in next 10 years population could reach to 8 billion. Though, many people are choosing to travel by public transport, but still the situation is same. Global warming is also one of the major things which humans are destroying for their selfless needs. Growing plants could reduce the problems up to 40%-50% instead people are cutting down the trees for different use. By observing all these things, every country should come a step forward to eliminate this eventually. In my opinion, the only possible way to destroy this is by increasing the fuel cost all over the world. It is the only resource for which many countries are fighting. Because not all countries produce fuel, some export from other countries. By increasing the cost people stop using 3-4 vehicles per house and count comes down to 1-2, which is in fact better than before. Eventually they have to stop giving license to the gas stations and selling of gas for public use. By doing this certainly people will get used to it and there is a hope that we can save our environment.
Up to a point, the above
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement is
absolutely
correct.
Did you mean "this day" or "These days"?
These day
's pollution is too horrible, which is leading to health problems to human life. Pollution is spreading and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manners, it can be by smoke, dust, garbage etc. The hazardous infections and asthma problems are
mainly
due to smoke pollution. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying to eradicate it, by installing air purifiers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
really
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this gonna work out.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
, the population is
tremendously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
day by day. Recent studies stated that in
next
10 years population could reach to 8 billion.

Though,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to travel by public transport,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the situation is same. Global warming is
also
one of the major things which humans are destroying for their selfless needs. Growing plants could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problems up to 40%-50%
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cutting down the trees for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. By observing all these things, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a step forward to eliminate this
eventually
.

In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
this is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the fuel cost all over the world. It is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
resource for which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are fighting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
produce fuel,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
export from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
using 3-4 vehicles per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and count
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
down to 1-2, which is in fact better than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Eventually
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
giving license to the gas stations and selling of gas for public
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. By doing this
certainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to it and there is a hope that we can save our environment.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The best way to solve the world's environmental problems to increase the costs of fuels. Do agree or disagree? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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