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Some people believe that restoration of old buildings costs too much; we should demolish them and build new ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people believe that restoration of old buildings costs too much; we should demolish them and build new ones instead. v. 1
It is important to consider that how the buildings of the past should be utilized. Many people contend that restoring them would be heavy on their pockets and it would be better to replace them by newly constructed buildings. However, I partially agree with this argument as some heritage sites should be reserved for cultural and economic purposes. One of the major reason for demolishing old buildings is that their poor conditions. Such buildings can be damaged easily in some natural calamities and fixing it for future use could be a waste of money. In addition to this, such buildings should be monitored by appropriate government authorities so that if someone purchases such constructed sites, they should inform them that it needed to be reconstructed. Furthermore, the space of these sites can be used for other purposes, for example construction of schools, parks, offices or shopping malls which might generate more jobs around the area. Nevertheless, some ancient sites have good base structure, hence it should be kept for restroration purposes. As these buildings can be used for the purpose of enhancing tourism by preserving heritage way of construction artefacts. Additionally, they can be restored into heritage hotels and resorts as well. To illustrate this, in many countries around the world, they have kept their historic constructions as an artefacts, which generates enormous tourism in their countries. To sum up, although restoring all old buildings would definitely be an expensive call; especially if they lack strength in them. In my view, some of them should be restored as a cultural heritage of the past to boost economic activities such as tourism.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider that how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
of the past should
be utilized
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that restoring them would be heavy on their pockets and it would be better to replace them by
newly
constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
However
, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this argument as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
should
be reserved
for cultural and economic purposes.

One of the major reason for demolishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is that their poor conditions. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can
be damaged
easily
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural calamities and fixing it for future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
could be a waste of money.
In addition
to this, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be monitored
by appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that if someone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
such constructed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, they should inform them that it needed to
be reconstructed
.
Furthermore
, the space of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for other purposes,
for example
construction of schools, parks, offices or shopping malls which might generate more jobs around the area.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
base structure,
hence
it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
restroration
purposes. As these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the purpose of enhancing tourism by preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
way of construction
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
.
Additionally
, they can
be restored
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
hotels and resorts
as well
. To illustrate this, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries around the world, they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
their historic constructions as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an artefact" or simply "artefacts"?
an artefacts
, which generates enormous tourism in their countries.

To sum up, although restoring all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
would definitely be an expensive call;
especially
if they lack strength in them. In my view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them should
be restored
as a cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heritage
of the past to boost economic activities such as tourism.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that restoration of old buildings costs too much; we should demolish them and build new ones instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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