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More and more people think that there is no need for printed paper newspapers. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.2

More and more people think that there is no need for printed paper newspapers. v. 2
Nowadays, online newspapers have gained in popularity, changing the way people receive information. Although some traditionalists argue that printed paper newspapers still play an important role, I believe there is no need for these things and they should be replaced. There are a number of reasons why the paper edition is not an effective way to transmit information. First, the speed of using newspapers to disseminate news is slower than other types of media. For instance, by broadcasting news on TV, citizens can keep track of events that happening in another country at their home, which would take at least a day if using newspapers. Second, the information on most paper newspapers has been deemed biased as they come from the mainstream media. If people gave up using those newspapers and read more from other resources on the Internet, they could receive more varying opinions, helping them avoid being manipulated by organizations like governments. It is also clear that paper newspapers is not efficient. One of the compelling reasons is that in order to produce paper that is used to print the press, materials like wood are imperative. Since logging is one of the major causes contributing to global warming, people should give up using the paper news edition as the way to protect the environment. In addition, the cost of publishing paper newspapers is higher than other types of journalism. By replacing paper press with online ones, for example, the publishers can save a great deal of money. In conclusion, giving up newspapers can benefit not only citizens but also society at large. Publishing companies should take steps to replace completely the paper edition by using online press.
Nowadays, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
have gained in popularity, changing the way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
receive information. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditionalists argue that printed paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
still
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role, I believe there is no need for these
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they should
be replaced
.

There are a number of reasons why the paper edition is not an effective way to transmit information.
First
, the speed of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
to disseminate news is slower than other types of media.
For instance
, by broadcasting news on TV, citizens can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that happening in another country at their home, which would take at least a day if using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
. Second, the information on most paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
has
been deemed
biased as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the mainstream media. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
gave up using those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
and read more from other resources on the Internet, they could receive more varying opinions, helping them avoid
being manipulated
by organizations like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

It is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is not efficient. One of the compelling reasons is that in order to produce paper
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to print the press, materials like wood are imperative. Since logging is one of the major causes contributing to global warming,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should give up using the paper news edition as the way to protect the environment.
In addition
, the cost of publishing paper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
is higher than other types of journalism. By replacing paper press with online ones,
for example
, the publishers can save a great deal of money.

In conclusion
, giving up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
newspapers
can benefit not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
society at large. Publishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should take steps to replace completely the paper edition by using online press.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people think that there is no need for printed paper newspapers. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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