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More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books and magazines and newspapers on paper. To what extend you agree or disagree? v.1

More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books and magazines and newspapers on paper. v. 1
It is often argued that written communication is less effective as compared to verbal communication. I completely agree with this notion because of many reasons which this essay will discuss in subsequent paragraphs. Even though it is true that almost all the entrepreneurs deal in written form either by the dint of emails or on paper as business deals include a huge amount of money matters, it is noticed that sometimes, things cannot be achieved by a mere letter or message as it requires more efforts which could only be possible by talking directly to the person. Facial expression and emotions, more often than not, are more likely to be value added since it helps the person to deliver the message in a more effective way that assists the listener to understand any situation exactly. For instance, it is a fact that a salesman can allure more customers, only if he interacts directly to them rather than sending interrupting online advertisements which are usually ignored by people. Furthermore, face to face interaction, undoubtedly, strengthens social relations and bonding among society members from all walks of life. This happens only due to in-person meetings which bestow an opportunity to people to talk in a better way, being known to each other, people generally tend to meet again and again. These direct conversations can bring people a closer relationship. To exemplify, in stark contrast, social media conversations, in fact, end up after the small span in comparison to the face to face dealings which are highly likely to change in a successful bond in the long run. To summarise, direct communication not only add immense value in conversation, but also expand social circle of people dramatically, despite the fact that significant documents are needed in some particular circumstances.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that written communication is less effective as compared to verbal communication. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons which this essay will discuss in subsequent paragraphs.

Even though
it is true that almost all the entrepreneurs deal in written form either by the dint of emails or on paper as business deals include a huge amount of money matters, it
is noticed
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, things cannot
be achieved
by a mere letter or message as it requires more efforts which could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be possible by talking
directly
to the person. Facial expression and emotions, more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than not, are more likely to be value
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
since it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the person to deliver the message in a more effective way that assists the listener to understand any situation exactly.
For instance
, it is a fact that a salesman can allure more customers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
if he interacts
directly
to them
rather
than sending interrupting online advertisements which are
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
interaction,
undoubtedly
, strengthens social relations and bonding among society members from all walks of life. This happens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
due to in-person meetings which bestow an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk in a better way,
being known
to each other,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
again and again. These direct conversations can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a closer relationship. To exemplify, in stark contrast, social media conversations, in fact,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up after the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
span
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
face
dealings which are
highly
likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in a successful bond in the long run.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, direct communication not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
immense value in conversation,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
expand social circle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dramatically
, despite the fact that significant documents
are needed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular circumstances.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are using computers and electric devices to access information, therefore there is no need for printed books and magazines and newspapers on paper. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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