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More and more people nowadays live in cities. Is this a negative or positive development? v.1

More and more people nowadays live in cities. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1
Cities are often seen as places of opportunity, but there are some major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion, governments could do much more to improve city life for average inhabitant On the one hand, the main problem for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a small town or village. Inhabitants of cities have to pay higher prices for housing, transport, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social problems such as high crime and poverty rates in comparison with rural areas. Furthermore, the air quality in cities is often poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and public transport systems are usually overcrowded. As a result, city life can be unhealthy and stressful. However, there are various steps that the government could take to tackle these problems. Firstly, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to reduce the cost of living. Secondly, politicians have the power to reduce vehicles from the city centers and promote citizen to use cleaner public transport, which would help to reduce both air pollution and traffic congestion. In Ha Noi or Ho Chi Minh city, for example, governments are planning to reduce motorbike in the urban to promote inhabitants to use public transport. But there are various remaining traffic problems like optimal public transport systems to adapt to the transfer of rising citizens. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, to reduce the pressure on major cities. In conclusion, governments could certainly implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as places of opportunity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major drawbacks of living in a large metropolis. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could do much more to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
city life for average
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
inhabitant


On the one hand, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
for anyone who hopes to migrate to a large city is that the cost of living is likely to be much higher than it is in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
town or village. Inhabitants of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay higher prices for housing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, and even food. Another issue is that urban areas tend to suffer from social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as high crime and poverty rates
in comparison
with rural areas.
Furthermore
, the air quality in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
poor, due to pollution from traffic, and the streets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems are
usually
overcrowded.
As a result
, city life can be unhealthy and stressful.

However
, there are various steps that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could take to tackle these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Firstly
, they could invest money in the building of affordable or social housing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the cost of living.
Secondly
, politicians have the power to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
vehicles from the city centers and promote citizen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cleaner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
both air pollution and traffic congestion. In Ha
Possible spelling mistake found.
Noi
or
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
Ho Chi Minh city
,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
motorbike in the urban to promote inhabitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are various remaining traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like optimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
systems to adapt to the transfer of rising citizens. A third option would be to develop provincial towns and rural areas, by moving industry and jobs to those regions, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the pressure on major cities.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
could
certainly
implement a range of measures to enhance the quality of life for all city residents.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people nowadays live in cities. Is this a negative or positive development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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