Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people nowadays are buying tickets for sports and cultural events. Is it good or bad? Give your opinion? v.1

More and more people nowadays are buying tickets for sports and cultural events. Is it good or bad? Give your opinion? v. 1
It is often considered that schools should teach functional skills like car maintenance or bank account management while students are learning academic subjects. I totally agree with the opinion that the schools should teach practical skills like bank account management or car maintenance which could prepare students in their future occupations. Firstly, some academic subjects which are being taught in schools is too old, and they are not being used in society anymore. Science and technology are being changed rapidly, so that if our educational system does not update their curriculum, their students will not have a chance to find an appropriate job. For instance, when I graduated from university, I could not find a job, so that one company hired me as a practitioner to work without payments in order to know how to functionalise my academical knowledge in the working environment. Secondly, schools should create an atmosphere in which the pupils could learn practical skills relying on their studies which are being taught. By the reason that technologies are being altered by the time, and the occupational market’s requirements are changing. The educational system should prepare their students to know the usage of their lessons and its future functions. The latest studies indicate that schools who have workshops where their students could discuss and practice their scientific knowledge through experiments and discussion, and etc. Have better occupational opportunities. To conclude. I disagree that schools should teach only academic subjects, although they should update their curriculum and teaching some skills based on the subjects which are being taught to the students.
It is
often
considered that
schools
should teach functional
skills
like car maintenance or bank account management while
students
are learning academic
subjects
. I
totally
agree
with the opinion that the
schools
should teach practical
skills
like bank account management or car maintenance which could prepare
students
in their future occupations.

Firstly
,
some
academic
subjects
which are
being taught
in
schools
is too
old
, and they are not being
used
in society anymore. Science and technology are being
changed
rapidly
,
so
that if our educational system does not update their curriculum, their
students
will not have a chance to find an appropriate job.
For instance
, when I graduated from university, I could not find a job,
so
that one
company
hired me as a practitioner to work without payments in order to know how to
functionalise
my academical knowledge in the working environment.

Secondly
,
schools
should create an atmosphere in which the pupils could learn practical
skills
relying on their studies which are
being taught
. By the reason that technologies are
being altered
by the time, and the occupational market’s requirements are changing. The educational system should prepare their
students
to know the usage of their lessons and its future functions. The latest studies indicate that
schools
who have workshops where their
students
could discuss and practice their scientific knowledge through experiments and discussion,
and etc
. Have better occupational opportunities.

To conclude
. I disagree that
schools
should teach
only
academic
subjects
, although they should update their curriculum and teaching
some
skills
based on the
subjects
which are
being taught
to the
students
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people nowadays are buying tickets for sports and cultural events. Is it good or bad? Give your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts