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More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v.1

More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 1
The rise in the purchasing power of the people and a decrease in the price of the cars has resulted in a spike of car per capita index of the globe. Consequently, it has increased the burden on the available infrastructure and the environment, which I will discuss in more details in the following paragraphs along with the countermeasures to reduce it. Firstly, the current infrastructure is not developing at a rate enough to catch the growth of private vehicles. As a result, the congestion on the roads has increased abruptly. Furthermore, overcrowded roads predominantly are the reason for the upswing in road accidents, leading to further casualties and economic loss. An automobile stuck in the traffic or moving slowly in the traffic will consume more fuel to reach the same destination as less speed will not allow the engine to operate at optimum efficiency. Secondly, the emissions from vehicles are the prime contributor to greenhouse gases. These gases are the prime culprit of the acceleration in average global temperature and change in weather patterns in the world. In addition, the hike in temperature has expedited the process of ice melting at the poles. Subsequently, the sea level is rising around the world with many experts prophesying the extinction of many island nations by 2050. Actionable solutions are required to solve this problem. To get the ball rolling, the government needs to invest in public transport and infrastructure to support it. More lanes should be reserved for highly occupied cars and buses, it will encourage the people to carpool or use public transit. Moreover, reducing the cost of public transit can be a silver bullet to attract people towards public transit. In addition, awareness programs should be developed and communicated among the masses. In some cultures, owning a private vehicle is considered as a status symbol. This notion can be broken by informing the people about the problem of excess vehicles on the roads causing to them and society as a whole. To sum up, I think initiatives by the government with the support of responsible citizens can resolve the problem of road cramped with vehicles.
The rise in the purchasing power of the
people
and a decrease in the price of the cars has resulted in a spike of car per capita index of the globe.
Consequently
, it has increased the burden on the available infrastructure and the environment, which I will discuss in more
details
in the following paragraphs along with the countermeasures to
reduce
it.

Firstly
, the
current
infrastructure is not developing at a rate
enough
to catch the growth of private
vehicles
.
As a result
, the congestion on the
roads
has increased
abruptly
.
Furthermore
, overcrowded
roads
predominantly
are the reason for the upswing in
road
accidents, leading to
further
casualties and economic loss. An automobile stuck in the traffic or moving
slowly
in the traffic will consume more fuel to reach the same destination as less speed will not
allow
the engine to operate at optimum efficiency.

Secondly
, the emissions from
vehicles
are the prime contributor to greenhouse gases. These gases are the prime culprit of the acceleration in average global temperature and
change
in weather patterns in the world.
In addition
, the hike in temperature has expedited the process of ice melting at the poles.
Subsequently
, the sea level is rising around the world with
many
experts prophesying the extinction of
many
island nations by 2050.

Actionable solutions
are required
to solve this problem. To
get
the ball rolling, the
government
needs to invest in
public
transport and infrastructure to support it. More lanes should
be reserved
for
highly
occupied cars and buses, it will encourage the
people
to carpool or
use
public
transit.
Moreover
, reducing the cost of
public
transit can be a silver bullet to attract
people
towards
public
transit.

In addition
, awareness programs should
be developed
and communicated among the masses. In
some
cultures, owning a private
vehicle
is considered
as a status symbol. This notion can
be broken
by informing the
people
about the problem of excess
vehicles
on the
roads
causing to them and society as a whole.

To sum up, I
think
initiatives by the
government
with the support of responsible citizens can resolve the problem of
road
cramped with
vehicles
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
356 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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