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More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v.3

More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 3
Entwined with the development of technology and increasing demand of using convenient transportation, the number of cars owners has been going up, which can probably leads to several resulting problems. Firstly, issues with regards to environment are obviously inescapable if people are more interested in using cars as daily means of transport. Specifically, air surroundings will become polluted more acutely due to the disproportionate volume of emissions from this genre of transportation. Secondly, natural resources consuming will also be boosted in order to meet demand of increasing usage of cars. Thirdly, the plain fact is that traffic would be heavier, which induces traffic congestion. And many other repercussions are likely to arise as as consequence of the usage of private cars. Actionable solutions are really necessary in order to tackle these adverse results. Personally, I believe that public transports need encouraging by subsidizing for people using them or raising tax on cars buyers. In addition, developing public transport services system aims to create more flexibility and convenience for users. In conclusion, this phenomenon comes as no surprise to contemporary society. However, it necessitates viable and appropriate antidotes from authorities so as to be resolved as effectively as possible.
Entwined with the development of technology and increasing demand of using convenient transportation, the number of
cars
owners has been going up, which can
probably
leads to several resulting problems.

Firstly
, issues
with regards to
environment are
obviously
inescapable if
people
are more interested in using
cars
as daily means of transport.
Specifically
, air surroundings will become polluted more
acutely
due to the disproportionate volume of emissions from this genre of transportation.
Secondly
, natural resources consuming will
also
be boosted
in order to
meet
demand of increasing usage of
cars
.
Thirdly
, the plain fact is that traffic would be heavier, which induces traffic congestion. And
many
other repercussions are likely to arise
as as
consequence of the usage of private cars.

Actionable solutions are
really
necessary in order to tackle these adverse results.
Personally
, I believe that public transports need encouraging by subsidizing for
people
using them or raising tax on
cars
buyers.
In addition
, developing public transport services system aims to create more flexibility and convenience for users.

In conclusion
, this phenomenon
comes
as no surprise to contemporary society.
However
, it necessitates viable and appropriate antidotes from authorities
so as to
be resolved
as
effectively
as possible.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay More and more people now own cars. What are the problems associated with an increase in the usage of private cars? How can these problems be solved? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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