Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions? v.1

More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions? v. 1
Numerous residents believe that current job conditions are reasoning of stress. This essay not only will introduce with the causes, but also with solutions for this issue. Such a major logic, which should be taken into consideration, is having long hours working. For instance, workers of some developed countries such as China, face these problems often related to their private life and well-being. Consequently, the motivation of employees to struggle disappears. This could lead to depression or job loss. As an another sense, I suppose that weather conditions have an impact for those who works outdoors. Because it may also affect on their health. A variety of possible courses of action could be taken in order to tackle the above. At first, if the government decreased the working hours, then they would have more time for their kids or hobbies. However, sometimes even the authorities can not influence to this issue. The reasoning, why am I saying this is that the Chinese are a hard working nation and used to overwork. Furthermore, appropriate measures should be taken. First of all, employers should encourage their workers to relax. This is what I mean, in many companies, gym facilities or massage therapies are available. This improves their task productivity. Secondly, employees could be trained to manage their time effectively. To conclude, people should allocate their time to job properly, especially when there are so many things to do. What is more, they should try not to overload themselves, because it undoubtedly leads to stress.
Numerous residents believe that
current
job conditions are reasoning of
stress
. This essay not
only
will introduce with the causes,
but
also
with solutions for this issue.

Such a major logic, which should
be taken
into consideration, is having long hours working.
For instance
, workers of
some
developed countries
such as China, face these problems
often
related to their private life and well-being.
Consequently
, the motivation of employees to struggle disappears. This could lead to depression or job loss. As
an another sense
, I suppose that weather conditions have an impact for those who works outdoors.
Because
it may
also
affect
on their health.

A variety of possible courses of action could
be taken
in order to tackle the above. At
first
, if the
government
decreased the working hours, then they would have more time for their kids or hobbies.
However
,
sometimes
even the authorities can not influence to this issue. The reasoning, why am I saying this is that the Chinese are a
hard working
nation and
used
to overwork.
Furthermore
, appropriate measures should
be taken
.
First of all
, employers should encourage their workers to relax. This is what I mean, in
many
companies
, gym facilities or massage therapies are available. This
improves
their task productivity.
Secondly
, employees could
be trained
to manage their time
effectively
.

To conclude
,
people
should allocate their time to job
properly
,
especially
when there are
so
many
things to do.
What is more
, they should try not to overload themselves,
because
it
undoubtedly
leads to
stress
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay More and more people claim that modern work patterns are a source of stress. What do you think are the causes of this? Can you suggest some possible solutions? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts