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More and more people buy a wide range of household goods such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.1

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1
Nowadays, many people are purchasing verity of household items such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker to make a use of latest technology. I feel, it is a great achievement as the world is becoming smaller, there is a huge demand for such products in each individual’s life. But it is not necessary to adopt all of them. To begin with, in 90’s, when I was a child, my mother use to cook everything on a gas stove from breakfast to dinner. Anyhow, now it's an an entirely different scenario, today my mother boils egg in an egg boiler, baking cakes in an oven and preparing rice in a rice cooker, at a very short time. In addition, we don’t go to laundry shop anymore, we wash our clothes at home, we don’t wash use utensils in a sink, because they directly go to a dishwasher. What comes next is, a bit concerns me, as technology is increasing our expectations are also growing. We are becoming lazier, we don’t want to work-hard, our dependency on technology is ruining our healthy lifestyle. So much, that we don’t even need to move from our resting place and we can operate all this machines through Wi-Fi. According to a research, technology is a major cause of obesity. Nonetheless, everything comes at a cost. I suggest, we should always keep a balance in our life. Things that are not required, we should not buy. For example, a dishwasher is something that is not necessary, if we maintain a good habit of washing our utensils right after its use. However, in my opinion, exposure to the latest technology is a great deal but has to be adopted for our convenient not to harm ourselves.
Nowadays,
many
people
are purchasing verity of household items such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker to
make
a
use
of
latest
technology
. I feel, it is a great achievement as the world is becoming smaller, there is a huge demand for such products in each individual’s life.
But
it is not necessary to adopt all of them.

To
begin
with, in
90’s
, when I was a child, my mother
use to
cook everything on a gas stove from breakfast to dinner. Anyhow,
now
it's
an an
entirely
different
scenario,
today
my mother boils egg in an egg boiler, baking cakes in an oven and preparing rice in a rice cooker, at a
very
short time.
In addition
, we don’t go to laundry shop anymore, we wash our clothes at home, we don’t wash
use
utensils in a sink,
because
they
directly
go to a dishwasher.

What
comes
next
is, a bit concerns me, as
technology
is increasing our expectations are
also
growing. We are becoming lazier, we don’t want to work-
hard
, our dependency on
technology
is ruining our healthy lifestyle.
So
much, that we don’t even need to
move
from our resting
place and
we can operate all this machines through Wi-Fi. According to a research,
technology
is a major cause of obesity.

Nonetheless, everything
comes
at a cost. I suggest, we should always
keep
a balance in our life. Things that are not required, we should not
buy
.
For example
, a dishwasher is something
that is
not necessary, if we maintain a
good
habit of washing our utensils right after its
use
.
However
, in my opinion, exposure to the latest
technology
is a great deal
but
has to
be adopted
for our convenient not to harm ourselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people buy a wide range of household goods such as television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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