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In many countries, more and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v.3

In many countries, more and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3
With the technological advancements of today's age, new devices and gadgets are replacing human labor. Especially in the developed nations, more and more people buy a range of household goods including television, microwave oven as well as rice cooker. This essay evaluates to whether these goods are leading the human race to a positive or a negative development. I personally think that this is a constructive development There are most definitely a number of humans who put forth the thought of keeping your wants and needs minimal. Firstly, these individuals strongly mention that television can be replaced by books. This would not only ensure a person's mental development but would also reduce the risk of deteriorating eyesight caused due to television. Secondly, they would evaluate the damages to health caused due to the rays of the microwave oven or the specific materials that can be used in such electronics. For example: Plastic containers on melting in the microwave, increase the chances of cancer. Thirdly, there is no need of special rice cookers. A single cooker can easily suffice the requirement of making rice or even a few gravies for that matter. And this set of population is not at all wrong if you consider their views and opinions. However, don't you think that had the human race not had the thirst for development, and growing needs over time, we would still be Neanderthals striking fire with the help of stones? Television, though harmful to the eyes, gives us so many reasons to laugh via sitcoms, gain knowledge via the flashing news or know about the earth and history via channels like National Geographic and The History Channel. And we can surely split the time wisely, so we could do both, watch television as well as read books. With respect to microwave ovens, these electronics were invented to save time. Foods that can be heated on a hot plate in 15 minutes can be warmed in the microwave oven in two minutes and there would be no harm done if we choose to use the right kind of vessels. Similarly a rice cooker ensures that the consistency of the cooked rice is maintained, irrespective of the quantity of water being added. In conclusion, I would like to mention that it is the growing needs that have led to historical inventions and innovations. Due to which, the mankind has put brains to good use and this in turn has led to advancement in numerous fields. Therefore, it is a highly positive growth that people are buying a wide range of televisions, microwave ovens, rice cookers and other such devices since this is giving us a push to learn
With the technological advancements of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's age, new devices and gadgets are replacing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
labor.
Especially
in the developed nations, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a range of household
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooker
. This essay evaluates to whether these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are leading the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a constructive
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
development


There are most definitely a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
who put forth the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of keeping your wants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
minimal.
Firstly
, these individuals
strongly
mention that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can
be replaced
by books. This would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ensure a person's mental development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of deteriorating eyesight caused due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
.
Secondly
, they would evaluate the damages to health caused due to the rays of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
or the specific materials that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in such electronics.
For example
: Plastic containers on melting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
, increase the chances of cancer.
Thirdly
, there is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cookers
. A single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooker
can
easily
suffice the requirement of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
or even a few gravies for that matter. And this set of population is not at all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
if you consider their views and opinions.

However
, don't you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that had the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race not had the thirst for development, and growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
over time, we would
still
be Neanderthals striking fire with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of stones?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
, though harmful to the eyes, gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to laugh via sitcoms, gain knowledge via the flashing news or know about the earth and history via channels like National Geographic and The History Channel. And we can
surely
split the time
wisely
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we could do both,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
read books. With respect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ovens
, these electronics
were invented
to save time. Foods that can
be heated
on a hot plate in 15 minutes can
be warmed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
oven
in two minutes and there would be no harm done if we choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the right kind of vessels.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooker
ensures that the consistency of the cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
is maintained
, irrespective of the quantity of water being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
.

In conclusion
, I would like to mention that it is the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
that have led to historical inventions and innovations. Due to which, the mankind has put brains to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and this in turn has led to advancement in numerous fields.
Therefore
, it is a
highly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
growth that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are buying a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
microwave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ovens
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cookers
and other such devices since this is giving us a push to learn
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries, more and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave oven and rice cooker. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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