Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

More and More people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

More and More people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. v. 3
Although some people argued that working at home rather than going to the office will be beneficial to the employees and their families, while others believes it would stress the home. In my own view, I strongly believe that having a choice to work at home will have a great impact on the lives of employees. On the one hand, some people think that working from home would be of benefits to the employees and I agree. Firstly, they argued that it gives workers the flexibility to attend to other important matters in their life and have a work life balance. For example, as a working mother, this arrangement enables a worker to take care of her baby and as well do her office work effectively at her own convenience. Secondly, the stress of getting to work at a particular time is a challenge for an employee when the work can be achieved anywhere he or she is. For instance, the traffic issue in Nigeria makes it overly stressful for people to get to their place of work and most times they get there exhausted and unable to achieve the required result for the day. Whereas, if the staff is to work at home, he/she would have achieved more and still have time to relax. I believe working from home will help with emotional stability of employees which will in turn reflect on their families. On the other hand, other people believe that working at home will lead to stress for an employee due to familiarity. It is said that husband and wife respect and appreciate each other more when they don't see each other often at home to avoid frequent fight and stress in the home. It will be unfair to say flexible work style will cause more stress to the home. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, i believe that employees stand a better chance to have a work life balance if they are given the opportunity to have flexible working style such as working from home.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home
rather
than going to the office will be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and their families, while others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
it would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
the home. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
view, I
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that having a choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home will have a great impact on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of employees.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home would be of benefits to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
Firstly
, they argued that it gives workers the flexibility to attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
matters in their life and have a
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance.
For example
, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
mother, this arrangement enables a worker to take care of her baby and
as well
do her office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
at her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
convenience.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
of getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at a particular time is a challenge for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can
be achieved
anywhere he or she is.
For instance
, the traffic issue in Nigeria
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
overly
stressful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their place of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and most times they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there exhausted and unable to achieve the required result for the day. Whereas, if the staff is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at home, he/she would have achieved more and
still
have time to relax. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with emotional stability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
which will in turn reflect on their families.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home will lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
due to familiarity. It
is said
that husband and wife respect and appreciate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more when they don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
at home to avoid frequent fight and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
in the home. It will be unfair to say flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
style will cause more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stress
to the home.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
stand a better chance to have a
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to have flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
style such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay More and More people are working at home rather than in the workplace. Some people say this will bring benefits to the workers and their families, but others think it will bring stress to the home. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts